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Are you a successful and confident woman but still can’t find a man that meets your standards? As a dating coach, I speak to a lot of women who have worked their way up the corporate ladder and are very successful. Yet, they can’t seem to attract a man who is on their level.
Here are my best tips on how to attract a man and keep him interested.
#10 – Be Emotionally Stable
I have worked with many high-caliber single men in my career. The best ones, the ones who will be loving and caring husbands are emotionally stable and want this quality in a woman as well.
When men I have worked with talked about their dream woman, they would often say they wanted “no drama” or a woman who “doesn’t sweat the small stuff”.
If you want to know how to attract a man who is high-quality, you must be easy going. You must be emotionally stable and make sure that you’re confident and secure with yourself to let things go. These are the foundations of attracting a man that will improve your life for the better.
People mirror each other. If you’re not presenting yourself in a way that says “mature, confident and mentally healthy” you won’t attract a man with those same features.
If you need help with any of these things, check out these articles:
#9 – Have a Passion For Something
Whenever I spoke to high-quality men about what they wanted in a partner, they were always happy to be the breadwinner.
These men are successful and take pride in their jobs and the ability to provide. Being able to provide is a very masculine trait and when they know they are good at this, it gives them a lot of pride and security in who they are.
The problem with this is that they are deathly afraid of attracting a gold digger.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard wealthy men tell me that they wanted to hide their income or dumb down their success to attract a woman that was really interested in them and not their money.
One way that you can show you’re not interested in their money is to have your own thing going on.
Most of the men I spoke to didn’t care if the women made less than them, they simply wanted her to be passionate about something.
Some wealthy men want women who are on their level financially, but most of them just wanted a woman who had her own passions. You could be a Yoga teacher, painter, influencer or full-time traveler, passion for something is extremely attractive to high quality men.
#8 – Focus On Your Appearance
Yes, men want women who are physically attractive. It is the number one thing they look for in a potential partner, and there’s just no getting past it.
Every man is different, however, and what is “attractive” to men varies greatly. Some men want a woman who wears high-heels to the grocery store while other men prefer a woman in jeans and a baseball cap.
Raise your beauty standards
We all have a personal standard of “beauty” that we adhere to. Some women get their hair dyed every month and nails done every two weeks. Other women are very interested in makeup, or fashion, and some women are not interested in any of this stuff at all.
Whatever your standard is, considering raising it slightly to where you are doing your best, while still being yourself. If this means putting on a nice pair of flats instead of sneakers, that’s great. If it means buying some new clothes or taking a makeup class, also great. Whatever you decide your comfortable with is fine, just make sure that you’re always trying your best.
Fitness is another thing that many of the men I have worked with wanted in a woman. This was for the physical appearance side of things, but also for lifestyle choices. Many of these men enjoyed physical activities or extensive travel so exercising regularly was an important thing that they looked for in a partner.
#7 – Choose The Right Dating Photos
If you want to know how to attract a man online, your photos are the above-all most important thing where you should put your focus.
Everyone can look either attractive or unattractive depending on the photo. Here are some tips for making sure your dating photos are looking their best:
- The primary photo of you should be smiling with teeth, and no sunglasses or face filters.
- Do not include photos of you with other people.
- Include one full body shot
- Photos of you traveling or doing outdoor activities should be included.
- Make sure the lighting and background look good.
Remember to mix things up, as datingadvice.com tells us:
We all know variety is commonly known as the spice of life, and the same goes for your online dating photos. We recommend you post a handful of photos or so, and select photos of you in different poses and engaged in different activities.
Consider getting professional photos
Consider getting professional dating photos taken, yes, this is a thing!
This is especially important if you don’t have photos that are meeting my above requirements.
Even if you just don’t have photos where you look your best, it would be worth considering a pro shoot. I’ve seen clients go from a “6” on the attractiveness scale to an “8” simply by getting better photos taken.
If a pro shoot is out of the question, don’t panic. Even just having a friend take some photos of you outside on a nice day will be better than posting ones where you don’t look your best.
PS. Need help choosing your photos and getting them touched up for your dating profiles? Be sure to check out my coaching packages where photo selection is included.
#6 – Have a Well-Written Dating Profile
Although the written text on your profile doesn’t have as much impact as your photos, it is still an important aspect for how to attract a man that is high-quality.
Be funny and keep things light.
A light-hearted and fun tone is key for dating sites. Making a man chuckle while reading your profile establishes a little connection. If you have already begun a connection with him, he is more likely to message you.
The best way to write a dating profile is to make sure that you’re being specific. Saying that you like “hiking” is way less interesting than saying you have climbed to the peak of Mt. Kilaminjaro.
Even if you’re not that adventurous, saying that you like to throw on your hiking boots and hit the trails for a “top of the mountain” picnic lunch is a lot more attention-grabbing than saying “I like hiking”.
If you need more help on writing profiles, click here:
#5 – Choose The Right Dating Sites
You don’t want to be spending time on out-dated websites. Sites that are not good for what you’re looking for or your age demographic will not help!
Picking the right dating site can be time-consuming. It is such a personally specific choice and everyone needs a different one.
That being said, the majority of people can find success on the most popular sites. The most popular traditional dating site in North America is Match.com and is great if you’re over 35.
If you’re younger, the most popular one is still Tinder but since that one is more “casual” then try Bumble for the most options and Hinge for more seriously minded folks, if you live in a more populated area.
#4 – Be Flirty and Witty
So you’ve learned how to attract a man…
But how do you get a guy to really notice you?
When you finally get that first date with a hot man, you want to make sure that you keep him interested. It’s not enough to know how to attract a man, you also want to make sure he keeps coming back.
The best way to do this is to ignite his sexual prowess. The “chase” is what motivates men. You must be flirty and fun to ignite the chemistry and get him wanting to chase you.
How Do You Attract A Man Without Talking To Him?
When you’re talking to a man, the thing that will separate you from being just a “nice” woman, from a sexually charged, amazingly attractive woman, is body language.
You want to make eye contact, lean your shoulder towards him, and casually touch him on the leg or shoulder while laughing or talking.
Dating Expert, Amy North gives us these additional body language tips:
There are a few simple things that can make you more attractive instantly.
Point your torso and toes towards him to to give him a subconscious cue that you’re interested in him.
Tilt your head forward slightly and look up at him. This mimics the view he’d get if you were much shorter than him which is an evolutionary trick that will make him more attracted. Just be careful of the double chin!
Uncross your arms! Crossed arms make you look closed off and uninterested, not to mention more masculine.
Another way to attract a man is by teasing him in a friendly way. Teasing shows that you are fun, witty and also a little bit provocative. Men like this because they like competition. Friendly teasing is a way to “compete” with your man in a battle of wit and it really gets that primal instinct going in him.
You have to be careful with this though, you don’t want to push too far that he gets upsets or thinks you’re rude.
A great way to keep things light is to say “I’m just kidding” if there’s confusion as to whether you were joking. Also delivering teasing lines with a small or cheeky wink can tell him that you’re just poking fun.
It’s also important not to push the same joke over and over. Commenting that he went heavy on the hair gel can be funny (if delivered properly and in a friendly way). But mentioning it a second time can easily take things too far. If you tease him, be sure to keep it a one and done on specific topics.
If you need more help with flirting, be sure to check out this article:
#3 – Improve Your Conversation Skills
How Do you Attract A Man Mentally?
You need to perfect the art of conversation.
Besides knowing how to attract a man, keeping him involves talking to him one on one and being interesting.
This one might seem obvoius, but lacking conversational skills is one of the most common ways I see women sabotaging their dates.
Show An Interest
One of the easiest ways to get better at conversing with other people is to be interested in everything. That’s right, any topic that he brings up or discusses with you, you should show interest in.
This is not because you want to “fake” anything. It simply creates a safe space for him to feel like he can open up to you without judgment.
Dating people is all about showing the other person that you are safe, and them showing you the same thing. This allows the two of you to slowly take down your protective walls which will lead to a deep human connection.
Showing him that you’re interested in what he’s saying is great first step towards this.
Expand Your Knowledge
If you want to get better at small talk, it helps to have more things to talk about. If you’re always caught up at work, in can be hard to make time for a world outside the office.
No this doesn’t mean memorizing a bunch of random pop culture references.
Everyone has areas of life that they are most interested in. Whatever your interest is, keep up with the latest in that area and always be looking to expand your knowledge.
A great way to do this is keep up with blogs or sub-reddits on these topics. That way you always have something to talk about. And don’t worry about what those topics of interest actually are. If he is as good at conversation skills as you are – he will be interested in what you have to say, no matter the topic.
If you need more help with small talk skills, check out this article:
#2 – Let Him Take The Lead
As mentioned earlier, men are motivated by the chase and this is something they want to do. They want to feel like they are in charge and that you are confident enough to step back and let them make the moves.
A good-high quality man is not afraid of taking the lead, this means he will be the one to:
- Ask you out on dates
- Initiate conversations via text, regularly. Every other day or more.
- Take the relationship to the next milestone, whether that’s having sex, being exclusive, moving in etc.
The best way for how to attract this kind of high-quality man is simply to step back and let him do all the work.
All you have to do is be enthusiastic and eager to hang out with him and make him feel good.
#1 – Have Fun Before Working Out The Logistics
When looking at how to attract a man, it is also important to know how not to turn him off.
High-quality men who are worth your time are not eager to settle down with just anyone (and neither should you be.)
They are really waiting for that perfect woman to come along, and they want to make sure she is fun and sexy before taking things further.
This means that you should never ask a man about his intentions to settle down, get married or have kids until you have already proven to him that you are the fun, hot and sexy woman that he has been looking for.
You do this by making sure that you keep up your physical appearance, you always make him feel good when you’re around him and you boost his confidence.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should be bending over backward for him if he’s not treating you right. But if he’s truly high-quality and a gentleman, you should be getting just as much out of this as he is.
The two of you should be laughing, joking, getting to know each other and boosting each other’s confidence so much, and so often – that you both decide you want to make this ball of fun arrangement a little more permanent. That is that key how to attract a man and keep him interested, forever.
How To Attract A Man That Is High Quality
I hope you found this article helpful. To make things easier, I put all the traits of what attracts high-quality men into an easy to read checklist. If you’re a confident and successful woman, you need a confident and successful man! Check out my Free Checklist “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men”. It comes with a bonus checklist called “Dating Red Flags.” Click here to download it now.
Thanks for checking out my post on how to attract a man and keep him interested.
With love from your favourite dating coach,
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