How to text guys in the modern dating world is SO complicated! Should you text first? Should you text again if you haven’t heard back? One wrong move and the cute guy from accounting slipped through your fingers! Save yourself all the stress and learn how to text guys the right way, so that they turn into your boyfriend.
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How to text guys – The Rules of Texting in Today’s WorldBefore we get into all the details, I want to make it clear that these rules are for casual relationships rather than couples who are already together.
It’s ok to text first, but use cautionIn my post on simple ways to make him your boyfriend, one of my big points was to let him take the lead. This included letting him text you first so that you know he’s interested in you. Now this doesn’t mean that you can NEVER text him first, in fact doing that might give him the wrong impression. He might think you’re not interested in him if he’s always the one initiating the conversation. In order to find the perfect balance here, try to make the ratio roughly 2:1. So if he has texted first and initiated the last two conversations, it’s your turn to start a conversation. Don’t get too caught up in the numbers! If you’re constantly counting conversations and texts then you’re surely overthinking it. The only reason I make these things specific is so that you have a general idea of what is expected. I do this so that women who think it’s ok to text a guy 5 times throughout the day when he barely responds back will know that they might be over doing it. If you find that you’re the one always texting first, you should definitely pull back the reigns a bit and let him take more of the lead.
Use emojisI came across an article saying that people over the age of 16 shouldn’t use emojis. This is crazy! Emojis play a very important role in texting conversations. They are not childish or immature if used in the right way. Text-based conversations are extremely difficult to portray emotion and inntonation. A reader can view a text as agressive when really it was just a sarcastic and harmless comment. So how do we increase the chances that our messages are getting across in the right tone? Emojis! I can’t imagine having a cheeky or sarcastic conversation without the use of a winky face or sticking out tongue to say “I’m only joking.” Emojis are life, keep using them, but as always – don’t go overboard. Related:
- How to Date when You Don’t Believe in Love
- Is Your Strong Independent Personality Keeping You Single?
- Get an Amazing Boyfriend By Lowering your Dating Standards
- How to Tell If A Guy Likes You – Explained By Science!
Text according to his effortIf you haven’t heard from a guy in weeks and he texts you “hey, sup?” Don’t respond back with a overly detailed re-cap of what your life has been like for the weeks where he ghosted you. Reply to a no-effort text like that with the same amount of effort. Something like “I’m good, you?” will suffice. Remember that the overall advice of “let him take the lead” is still valid here. If he’s been ignoring you or flaky, don’t give him the time and attention that he’s asking for until he deserves it. Guys have been taught by society since the beginning of dating that if they don’t make the effort to reach out to the woman, they may not get a date. If he is interested in you, he will 100% reach out. So what does this mean for you?
- No texting ‘hey, haven’t heard from you in a while”
- No texting “hey, I miss you”
- Don’t send follow up texts if you don’t hear back
Respond in a reasonable amount of timeWhen I first started seeing my boyfriend, I made a point to not respond to his texts right away. I did this because I didn’t want to look like I was too eager or interested. I wanted to play it cool. Although this might be a good tactic, it’s probably overkill. If you respond a few minutes after he texts you or wait a full hour, it won’t make much difference. Don’t take longer than an hour to respond to texts though. That might make it look like you’re really not interested.
Enjoy the text conversationSomething that I hear a lot with people who are dating is that they “don’t like texting.” They rather have an in-person conversation or a conversation on the phone. It’s true that texting conversations aren’t the best. You can’t go into too much detail, you can’t hear the person’s voice to get their inntonations and sense of humour and a conversation that would normally take 5 minutes can end up taking the whole day. I agree, it’s not fun – but you have to play the game in order to win. I hate to break it you but cell phones are not going away. Unless you want to literally be with the person for every moment of every day, you’re going to have to communicate through text. Here are some positive things about texting:
- You can establish a connection with little time commitment
- You can be chatting with multiple guys at once and not feel too overwhelmed
- It’s a way for him to tell you he’s thinking about you when he’s at work or with his friends
- You can get to know each other a bit before meeting each other face to face