If A Guy Doesn’t Text You For A Week, He’s Probably…

If a guy doesn't text you for a week vancouver dating coach for women
Lana Otoya
Latest posts by Lana Otoya (see all)
If a guy doesn't text you for a week

You really liked this one, didn’t you? The date went well. He was funny. You were laughing, and then poof! He doesn’t follow up or text. Here’s what you do, in a few simple steps.

Step 1. Next!

If a guy doesn’t text you in a week, he’s probably not that interested.

Even if he hasn’t fully ghosted you, the long gap between texts is not a good sign.

You were hoping I wasn’t going to say this, but I wouldn’t be a professional dating coach if I was scared to share the truth.

Men know it’s their job to take the lead.

They know they have to text a woman who they are interested in, or she could start chatting it up with another man.

If you haven’t heard from this guy in a week, don’t text him and don’t think about him anymore – just chalk this one up as another one that didn’t work.

But wait! You might be saying. What if he’s just busy? Dating coach, Anna Jorgensen has the answer to that question.

Is He Just Really Busy?
If a man is still building his kingdom, then his career will come first. (If he’s a great lover, you’ll come, too, but it’ll be when his work is done for the day.)So, yeah, he could be super busy. But if he’s into you, he’ll reach out — 

See? Even if he’s really busy, he’ll still reach out. Period, end of story.

PS. Want to know why men ghost? Here’s the scientific answer.

Step 2. Release Your Energy

When you meet someone that is really awesome, it can give you this overwhelming feeling of excitement.

It’s that glimmer of hope that maybe you won’t need to swipe on Bumble anymore. Maybe the search for that high-quality man is finally over!

That hope is what is making you hold onto something and question it, even if it feels wrong.

It can be hard to let it go if this seemingly great guy decides to ignore you after a date that went so well.

What you’re dealing with is all this built up energy.

You’re wondering what happened. Did he forget how great the date went? Did he get kidnapped? Maybe work really is that busy for him this week?

All of this mental energy will drive you nuts and you’ll want to text him just so you can breathe a sigh of relief.

You’ll reach the point where you don’t even care if he’s not interested anymore you just want an answer.

You’ll be tempted to text him something funny or even a lie just to see what his response is. You want to send the “test text” to see if he’s interested or not.

Don’t do it.

You’re better than this.

You’re a high-quality woman.

If he’s not putting in the effort, neither will you.

Find a healthier way to get your “fix”.

Text a friend, go for a run, go on another date. Watch your favourite movie again, anything!

Just put your phone away and think of another way to release.

Step 3 – Omg You Almost Settled

If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, it’s a big deal.

It’s my job as a dating coach to tell you this, but you already know this.

That’s why it makes you feel so bad and has your thoughts racing like crazy.

So listen to your gut! You almost settled for less.

Here’s a guy who has given you one (or maybe a few) good dates and you’re ready to throw away one of your most important dating standards?

You want a serious guy right?

A man who can take the lead?

A man who is committed for the long-term?

If a guy doesn’t text you for a week – this is not that man.

You’re looking for high-quality, so why are you settling?

If you really want high-quality, it means that you want a man who meets your needs.

A man who is serious about a relationship and wants to go out of his way to make you feel loved and supported.

With a high-quality man, you never have to wonder if he’s interested. You’ll know.

You’ll always know.

Free Checklist: How To Attract Higher-Quality Men

Step 5: Take Back (The Right) Control

It may seem petty or ridiculous that I’m writing a huge blog post on this topic, but it’s actually a very serious issue.

As a dating coach for women, I see this all the time.

The problem has nothing to do with texting.

It’s your need to control the wrong things.

By questioning whether or not he’s worth it if he hasn’t texted you, you’re actually wishing that you could control him.

That you could just send a telepathic message that says “please check in with me and text me so that I can still be attracted to you… the dates we’ve been on went so well…I don’t want to be on Bumble anymore….please”

This is the wrong area to focus your mental energy.

You need to take back control of yourself and your dating life. You actually control these things so use your mental energy here.

So how can you take back control of your dating life?

Think about it as if you were a major film director.

You are about to cast the role of the male romantic lead in your big movie.

So you hold auditions.

As each man walks in, you have to turn many of them away.

Some can’t act, some are not good looking enough.

As a director who is in charge of this film, the outcome of it relies on you.

So, do you just sit there trying to turn the man who came in with an awful audition into a good actor just because he’s good looking?

No!

Would a director really waste his time on someone that can’t act?

No, she would say “thank you, we’ll call you.”

And then she’s be onto the next audition.

Your dating life is like this. You are in the director’s seat, looking for that guy to come along.

You have to let go of the idea that you can control others, and instead learn to control yourself.

Your mindset, your attitude and your ability to keep looking and not settle for the wrong guy.

Ok, I’ll confess. I know that what I just outlined is easier said than done.

Positive thinking and constantly reassuring yourself is going to help with this. Like dating expert Bela Gandhi says:

Thoughts like “I’m not good enough, I only attract bad people, I’m too fat” These stories will keep you stuck where you are. You need to turn these stories into positive ones — “love exists for me. I am beautiful just as I am.”

If you need some help with positive thinking, you can check out this blog post.

Step 4 – There’s Only One Exception

After all this has been said, there is only one exception to what I just laid out and that is:

If he already planned another date with you.

If he mentioned at the end of the last date or the next day that he wants to take you out again next weekend, that’s a really good sign.

In his head, he knows he made plans with you and he could just very well be busy at work or not feel like making small talk conversation over text.

He doesn’t feel the need to do this because he has already made plans with you and knows he will be seeing you again.

That’s perfectly fine.

The only thing to watch out for here is that if he doesn’t confirm the date.

He should confirm either the day before the date or early on the day of said date, and if not, I’d consider him low-quality.

This is a man who doesn’t respect your time and leaves you hanging up in the air.

Not high-quality.

Step 5 – When To Forgive?

When dating, everybody is somebody’s second choice.

Although that sounds bad, it’s not really a bad thing, it’s just human.

As dating coach Evan Marc Katz reminds us:

You’re asking if you should have compassion for him. And the answer is yes. Because every person you date is a human being, with flaws and blind spots and insecurities and strengths, just like you.

He may have gone on a couple of great dates with you, had a great time, and then met someone else that made him more excited.

That’s totally normal, could happen to anyone.

If that other relationship didn’t work out, he might reach out to you to see if you’re still interested.

So should you text back? Should you go out with him?

If you’re still interested in him, yes you can go out with him, but don’t be overly eager or show an overwhelming amount of interest.

If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, he’s not putting in my effort and neither should you.

The must always match his level of effort.

If he texts you after a week and says “hey, sorry, been busy at work, how’s your week going?”

Match his level of effort by saying “It’s going well, how’s yours?”

See? Simple, not too much detail, not too much effort.

If he’s able to keep the conversation going and “woo” you into going on a date, go for it.

If after that date he starts checking in, planning dates, and acting like a high-quality man, you can forgive him and see how things go.

But if he goes MIA again after this date, cut him loose forever.

You can forgive once, not twice.

And you never chase.

Get 30 Flirty Texts!

Things might not be working out with this guy who hasn’t texted in a week, but it never hurts to spice up your texting game!

If you need some help spicing up your text messages, download my Free List of 30 Flirty Texts.

In Conclusion

So, in conclusion, if a guy doesn’t text you for a week, he’s probably not high-quality enough to be worth your time.

You deserve better than that and you’ll get it if you keep looking.

I hope you find this article helpful! With love from your favourite dating coach,

-Lana

Related:

How To Stop Negative Thoughts

How To Know If He Loves You – 10 Signs of Real Connection

Why Did He Ghost Me? The Answer From Science

How Many Dates Until The Relationship Is Official?

6 thoughts on “If A Guy Doesn’t Text You For A Week, He’s Probably…”

  1. What if talking to guy 6months.
    & hasn’t talk you you in week. Rules still apply, Or is he playing games LDR aswell.

    1. 6 months is a long time to be talking to a guy where he hasn’t made a move to be more official. That’s already not the greatest sign. I guess I would need more info but in general, if he’s not making a move to be more official in 6 months, he might not be serious. I wouldn’t text him if I were you. You deserve higher-quality if he’s just going to waste your time!

  2. Helpful article. Help please 🙂 I have been casually dating a man for almost 5 months. Currently he calls me maybe once a month, texts me everyday, but sometimes he takes long to answer in which I then match his energy. He sees me maybe twice a month. He’s taken me on one actual date back in March and cooked for me once, but I feel like he’s not making an effort to plan dates. It’s always “can I come see you.” I’m not sure if I should overlook it because of COVID-19.

    On July 10th (a Friday) he text me to see what I was up to, I responded and then responded when I asked the same question back. When I then asked him what he was up to for the rest of the night (it was maybe 10pm at this point) he did not respond. He text me on Monday afternoon saying Goof afternoon! Happy Monday! How has your day been? Like he hadn’t just ignored my message for 3 days. He has done this before (3 previous times to be exact) and I told him the first time he did it that when people do this I forget about them. We’ve also had a conversation about effort where we agreed that we would both put in more effort and he said he was willing and able and was aware it was his duty to initiate things, but he also felt like I don’t initiate anything (I just didn’t think he had been putting in enough effort for me to start initiating).

    So after he messaged me that Monday, I didn’t respond. Because you are well aware of my boundaries. Tuesday he sent me a video on Instagram of a guy leaving a message for a girl saying he misses her and to call him or text him because he needs her in his life, that she can be his wife etc. I thought this was childish and ignored it. Wednesday he text me Good morning, how are you doing today?(around 9am), I ignored it until that evening (8pm) where I answered and said “Hey, I’m well”. He text me back at 10pm and said “How’s your week been?” and I text him back Thursday at 6pm “It’s been good, yours?”. He didn’t text back until Friday at 8am where he said “Lonnnnnggggg lol. Happy it’s Friday. Good morning!” I did not respond and that was a week ago. I haven’t heard from him since. I haven’t reached out or answered that message because he wants to small talk and gloss over the issue at hand which I am sure he’s well aware of. And feel if this is a relationship he wants he would be doing more. I am hurt because I thought this meant more to him though I know his actions should showing more. He continues to be the first or second one to watch my instagram Stories when I’ve posted them over the past week. What should I do? Please help.

  3. So there’s this guy I met over tinter. We went on a good date & he was like let’s do this again. But he didn’t follow through. So I dmed him. We went on a few dates & then he turned me down. A few weeks ago he started dming me pretty consistently & I responded. Because I guess I’ll give him a 2nd chance. We went out to coffee & I couldn’t detect any signs of flirting. We didn’t talk about what happened before just talked about random stuff. He hasn’t dmed me yet but he liked an old photo of mine I shared on my story. Idk what he wants. I don’t think he knows what he wants. Definitely if he doesn’t reach out again for a week I’m dropping it completely. No need to waist my time. Specially knowing what I want. But I do get cought up on was I not flirty enough, so on, so on. But he’s kinda giving me nothing to go off of. So frustrating.

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