Home » Attracting Men » If A Guy Doesn’t Text You For A Week, He’s Probably…

If A Guy Doesn’t Text You For A Week, He’s Probably…

You really liked this one, didn’t you? The date went well. He was funny. You were laughing, and then poof! He doesn’t follow up or text. Here’s what you do, in a few simple steps.

If a guy doesn't text you for a week vancouver dating coach for women




Step 1. Next!

If a guy doesn’t text you in a week, he’s probably not that interested. Even if he hasn’t fully ghosted you, the long gap between texts is not a good sign.

You were hoping I wasn’t going to say this, but I wouldn’t be a professional dating coach if I was scared to share the truth.

Men know it’s their job to take the lead. They know they have to text a woman who they are interested in, or she could start chatting it up with another man.

If you haven’t heard from this guy in a week, don’t text him and don’t think about him anymore – just chalk this one up as another one that didn’t work.

But wait! You might be saying. What if he’s just busy? Dating coach, Anna Jorgensen has the answer to that question.

Is He Just Really Busy?
If a man is still building his kingdom, then his career will come first. (If he’s a great lover, you’ll come, too, but it’ll be when his work is done for the day.)So, yeah, he could be super busy. But if he’s into you, he’ll reach out — 

See? Even if he’s really busy, he’ll still reach out. Period, end of story.

PS. Want to know why men ghost? Here’s the scientific answer.

Step 2. Release Your Energy

When you meet someone that is really awesome, it can give you this overwhelming feeling of excitement. It’s that glimmer of hope that maybe you won’t need to swipe on Bumble anymore. Maybe the search for that high-quality man is finally over!

That hope is what is making you hold onto something and question it, even if it feels wrong. It can be hard to let it go if this seemingly great guy decides to ignore you after a date that went so well.

What you’re dealing with is all this built-up energy.

You’re wondering what happened. Did he forget how great the date went? Did he get kidnapped? Maybe work really is that busy for him this week?

All of this mental energy will drive you nuts and you’ll want to text him just so you can breathe a sigh of relief.

You’ll reach the point where you don’t even care if he’s not interested anymore you just want an answer. You’ll be tempted to text him something funny or even a lie just to see what his response is. You want to send the “test text” to see if he’s interested or not.

Don’t do it.

You’re better than this. You’re a high-quality woman.

If he’s not putting in the effort, neither will you. Find a healthier way to get your “fix”.

Text a friend, go for a run, go on another date. Watch your favorite movie again, anything!

Just put your phone away and think of another way to release.

Step 3 – Omg You Almost Settled

If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, it’s a big deal. It’s my job as a dating coach to tell you this, but you already know this. That’s why it makes you feel so bad and has your thoughts racing like crazy.

So listen to your gut! You almost settled for less.

Here’s a guy who has given you one (or maybe a few) good dates and you’re ready to throw away one of your most important dating standards?

You want a serious guy right? A man who can take the lead? A man who is committed for the long-term?

If a guy doesn’t text you for a week – this is not that man.

You’re looking for high-quality, so why are you settling? If you really want high-quality, it means that you want a man who meets your needs. A man who is serious about a relationship and wants to go out of his way to make you feel loved and supported.

With a high-quality man, you never have to wonder if he’s interested. You’ll know.

You’ll always know.

Free Checklist: How To Attract Higher-Quality Men

Step 5: Take Back (The Right) Control

It may seem petty or ridiculous that I’m writing a huge blog post on this topic, but it’s actually a very serious issue.

As a dating coach for women, I see this all the time.

The problem has nothing to do with texting. It’s your need to control the wrong things.By questioning whether or not he’s worth it if he hasn’t texted you, you’re actually wishing that you could control him.

That you could just send a telepathic message that says “please check in with me and text me so that I can still be attracted to you… the dates we’ve been on went so well…I don’t want to be on Bumble anymore….please”

This is the wrong area to focus your mental energy.

You need to take back control of yourself and your dating life. You actually control these things so use your mental energy here. So how can you take back control of your dating life?

Think about it as if you were a major film director.

You are about to cast the role of the male romantic lead in your big movie. So you hold auditions.

As each man walks in, you have to turn many of them away. Some can’t act, some are not good looking enough.

As a director who is in charge of this film, the outcome of it relies on you.

So, do you just sit there trying to turn the man who came in with an awful audition into a good actor just because he’s good looking?

No!

Would a director really waste his time on someone that can’t act?

No, she would say “thank you, we’ll call you.”

And then she’s onto the next audition.

Your dating life is like this. You are in the director’s seat, looking for that guy to come along.

You have to let go of the idea that you can control others, and instead learn to control yourself.

Your mindset, your attitude and your ability to keep looking and not settle for the wrong guy.

Ok, I’ll confess. I know that what I just outlined is easier said than done.

Positive thinking and constantly reassuring yourself is going to help with this. Like dating expert Bela Gandhi says:

Thoughts like “I’m not good enough, I only attract bad people, I’m too fat” These stories will keep you stuck where you are. You need to turn these stories into positive ones — “love exists for me. I am beautiful just as I am.”

If you need some help with positive thinking, you can check out this blog post.

Step 4 – There’s Only One Exception

After all this has been said, there is only one exception to what I just laid out and that is:

If he already planned another date with you.

If he mentioned at the end of the last date or the next day that he wants to take you out again next weekend, that’s a really good sign. In his head, he knows he made plans with you and he could just very well be busy at work or not feel like making small talk conversation over text.

He doesn’t feel the need to do this because he has already made plans with you and knows he will be seeing you again. That’s perfectly fine. The only thing to watch out for here is that if he doesn’t confirm the date.

He should confirm either the day before the date or early on the day of said date, and if not, I’d consider him low-quality.

This is a man who doesn’t respect your time and leaves you hanging up in the air.

Not high-quality.

Step 5 – When To Forgive?

When dating, everybody is somebody’s second choice.

Although that sounds bad, it’s not really a bad thing, it’s just human.

As dating coach Evan Marc Katz reminds us:

You’re asking if you should have compassion for him. And the answer is yes. Because every person you date is a human being, with flaws and blind spots and insecurities and strengths, just like you.

He may have gone on a couple of great dates with you, had a great time, and then met someone else that made him more excited.

That’s totally normal, could happen to anyone.

If that other relationship didn’t work out, he might reach out to you to see if you’re still interested.

So should you text back? Should you go out with him? If you’re still interested in him, yes you can go out with him, but don’t be overly eager or show an overwhelming amount of interest.

If a guy doesn’t text you for a week, he’s not putting in my effort and neither should you. The level of effort you put in must always match his level of effort.If he texts you after a week and says “hey, sorry, been busy at work, how’s your week going?”

Match his level of effort by saying “It’s going well, how’s yours?”

See? Simple, not too much detail, not too much effort.

If he’s able to keep the conversation going and “woo” you into going on a date, go for it. If after that date he starts checking in, planning dates, and acting like a high-quality man, you can forgive him and see how things go.

But if he goes MIA again after this date, cut him loose forever.

You can forgive once, not twice.

And you never chase.

Get 30 Flirty Texts!

Things might not be working out with this guy who hasn’t texted in a week, but it never hurts to spice up your texting game!

If you need some help spicing up your text messages, download my Free List of 30 Flirty Texts.

In Conclusion

So, in conclusion, if a guy doesn’t text you for a week, he’s probably not high-quality enough to be worth your time.

You deserve better than that and you’ll get it if you keep looking.

I hope you find this article helpful! With love from your favourite dating coach,

-Lana

Related:

How To Stop Negative Thoughts

How To Know If He Loves You – 10 Signs of Real Connection

Why Did He Ghost Me? The Answer From Science

How Many Dates Until The Relationship Is Official?

Lana Otoya

34 thoughts on “If A Guy Doesn’t Text You For A Week, He’s Probably…”

  1. There’s no need to confirm a date on the day of or before. Just take him at his word. It’s actually better if he doesn’t confirm. If he shows up to the date, he is a great guy , and if he doesn’t then he is low quality. You won’t know that though if you ask him to confirm. I never confirm. If you can’t trust the guy at his word, maybe you should find another guy to date.

  2. Great Advised! If a guy doesn’t text you back after a week that just means that he is not into you, it’s the same with men, if a girl don’t respond at all or reply to you whenever you message them that means they don’t like you at all. Don’t lower yourself and beg for attention there are other things that is worth your time.

    – Pete (Orange County Dating Coach)

  3. I believe that there are valid points in this article; however, the word choice isn’t correct. Number one that states he’s not interested isn’t always true. He may be interested but if he’s a good looking guy he may be used to getting a lot of attention from women who initiate conversations with him. He has to understand that getting a woman’s attention and then not doing anything with it is a big no no. If he has shown you that he’s interested, make it clear when he comes around that you’re not going to be doing the pursuing. He has to pursue you, not the other way around. You’re not some insecure and obsessed girl pining over him. He has to plan the dates, set things up, and take the lead.

  4. Hey there,

    Thank you for this post. It did clear a lot to me.

    I met this guy and we had this amazing chemistry, however, he works a lot and wants something casual, which I completely agreed on, coming out of a long relationship and a hurtful break-up, and being a busy lady myself.

    After going out with me twice, he left for a work trip asking me to see him when he returns after 3 weeks. I said yes, just text me when you´re back and we´ll see. Then I didn´t hear from him for 12 days, so I thought “that´s it” and wrote him off in my mind.

    12 days later he texts me and we end up going from a casual chat into full on sexting session. During the chat he called me “babe” which I thought is just steamy talk, felt in the heat of the moment. I asked him when is he returning, being very turned on and now really wanting to see him again! He said “next week, HOPEFULLY” telling me how he can´t wait to see me when he returns.

    A week later, I haven´t heard a word. Now I feel sad, but the more time passes, me not hearing back from him, makes me care less. But still, for me, this kind of chemistry was truly something special. Probably to him it wasn´t. Since my breakup I have been living like a nun and this kind of attention was so exciting.

    If he texts me again for another hookup, what should I say? I´m not looking anything more serious either, but at the same time, I do not want to compromise my time and my worth like that.

    Big hug,

    Diane

  5. There’s this guy, we’ve been texting for 5 months and started going out 3 weeks ago. We’ve met 5 times, and then he was going to go on a holiday and wanted to see me the day before leaving too. I really like how things flow between us in person and in text. I feel he is very caring and considerate in our interactions.

    So everything went great so far for me except for this last bit: he’s been gone on a holiday for a week now (in total he’ll be away 2 weeks) and we haven’t texted each other.

    In my mind he is the one who should text because, you know, as we don’t know each other that well yet i wouldn’t want him to feel like i bug him while he’s away doing his thing with his friends. And in my mind, he would think that too, so if he wanted he would text.

    I’ve read a lot of answers to similar topics saying “you can’t say something”, “you’re not together”,a holiday is the time to switch off completely” etc but i keep thinking: if you’re interested in a person and really like them would you really not text them even if it’s a holiday? How can you not have the urge to? So then i’m thinking he might not like me enough. But someone would say “what if he is thinking the same thing as you?”

    I guess I was just wondering if this situation falls clearly in the category of the article you wrote of “he didn’t text for a week” or if because it’s holidays it’s not exactly the same.

    Let me know what you think 🙂 thank you very much

  6. Had to sign up just so I could comment on this article. The occasional good point but a lot of this is really quite absurd. You expect the man to set up the 1st date, text you first after said date, set up the 2nd date and then finally be the one to confirm this date? A relationship (however early stages it may be) is a TWO WAY STREET. Men have lives and if you like them and want to see them you have to make some effort, not merely sit there waiting for him to call you. Speaking from experience, if a woman doesn’t text me after a 1st date I assume she is uninterested and work from that mindset when considering whether to try setting up a 2nd date or not.

    1. Hey Adam, gentlemen and high-quality men know that they should be the ones to initiate the first and second date. If you’re not doing this, you are going to miss out on high-quality women that don’t want to chase a man.

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