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You need to have standards in life.
There are some people that are worthy of your attention, energy and love, and the rest can take a walk right out of your life.
We all know we shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who is “bad” for us, but what is “bad” really? How can you know where to draw the line?
If you’re seeing signs that he doesn’t care enough, you might be wondering where exactly to draw that line.
That’s where I come in! Your favorite dating coach 🙂
I made a list showing the different signs he doesn’t care enough about you and how to know how serious each sign is.
If he’s doing more than 5 of these things on a regular basis, you might need to consider leaving for someone better.
#18 – He Doesn’t Listen
Surprise! It’s pop quiz time…
What is the most important key to keeping a relationship strong and healthy for many years?
Come on, I know you know it.
That’s right, it’s communication!
The reason communication is so important is because this is how couples stay on the same page.
When two people are dating – they think a lot.
There’s a lot of mysterious stuff that is playing out in each person’s head and without talking about it – one person can be left completely in the dark!
If you notice that he has stopped listening to you, this is a giant sign that he doesn’t care enough about you to keep the relationship strong and healthy.
So what is healthy listening?
Healthy listening means that he takes the time to sit down and hear you out without distractions. This means:
- No phone
- No TV
- No eating
Real listening is when he is sitting down and focused completely on you.
But that’s not the only thing! He then follows the listening part with action.
He goes out of his way to make sure that he understands what you’re saying and follows through with it. If he has an opinion or if he disagrees, he will calmly explain his side of the situation.
When a man listens, it shows that he cares enough about you to make sure that you’re always growing together, and not growing apart.
#17 – He Breaks Promises
So let’s say that your man is listening to you.
That’s awesome! But… does he follow-through?
Let me give you an example.
You tell your boyfriend that you want to spend more time together. He agrees with you and says that’s a great idea.
But then… nothing happens!
No plans are being arranged and no dinner reservations are being called-in…
A very important sign that your boyfriend cares about you is if he is willing to follow through with all his promises.
When he says that he’d like to take you to the beach next weekend – he should really do it.
If he is constantly breaking promises, you can easily see that he doesn’t care enough about you to be considered a long-term partner.
#16 – He Gets Angry Easily
Does he fly off the handle at the push of a button?
That’s not healthy relationship behavior.
It could even start going down the path of emotional abuse.
Now, before we go deep into this, you have to remember one thing.
Men, who have more masculine energy, can often be a little hot-headed… and that is ok!
As long as he doesn’t yell really loudly or use hurtful words, it’s ok for men (and women) to get a little angry sometimes. If you know anything about my coaching, you know that I believe feminine energy is a strength.
As feminine women, who use femininity as our powerful strength, we have to be ok with both the good and the bad of masculinity, as long as it is not toxic or hurtful.
So Where Is the “Anger Line”
He clearly doesn’t care enough about you if he gets angry often, and easily. You have to think to yourself:
“Does the punishment fit the crime?”
For example, let’s say it’s your night to make dinner but you got off work late and now dinner won’t be ready by the time it usually is. If your boyfriend gets a bit grumpy that dinner is not ready, this is a little selfish, but not hurtful.
However, if he starts yelling or saying things like “you should have planned better” or something like that then WOAH NELLY!
That’s a no-go.
Everyone has the right to be grumpy or a little upset (even for stupid reasons) but no one has the right to turn that anger into aggression nor hurt. If he does this, it’s a sign he doesn’t care about you the way he should, or he needs to seek professional help.
Related: 65 Signs of Emotional Abuse
#15 – He Says Really Hurtful Things
Another major sign that he doesn’t care enough about you is if he says hurtful things.
Unlike anger, there is no “line” or “acceptable” hurtful thing that a man can say to his woman.
If he starts attacking your personality or your appearance or anything else about you, then this is a major red flag.
Let’s break this down a little bit more.
Hurtful comments usually start with these words:
“You should be…”
These phrases are hurtful because few people “always” or “never” do anything. These exaggerations are meant to make you feel bad and are manipulative.
“You should be” is equally hurtful because it implies that you are not good enough to meet his standards. The only standards that you should be trying to meet are your own.
If you want to be a better girlfriend or a more feminine powerhouse in order to increase a man’s attraction to you, that’s perfectly fine. BUT. That’s your choice and not his.
>>Psst. Also make sure you’re not saying these things to him!
#14 – He Doesn’t Want To Do Things With You
He is your boyfriend – the love of your life! He should want to do things with you.
I’ll make this really easy for you to see that this is true.
How many women would love to go to brunch with her girlfriends on Sunday morning, while her boyfriend would much rather sleep in and play video games at home in his underwear?
See! It’s very common that women like to do things that men don’t want to do.
But he should still want to do things you, end of story.
A man who cares about you will go out of his way and do things with you just because he likes being in a relationship and wants to make you happy.
Those men that are at the Christmas Market with their wives? They really care about them!
If he’s constantly saying no and never wants to spend time with you, he likely doesn’t care enough about you.
#13 – He Lies
Have you caught your boyfriend in a lie?
This is a serious sign that he doesn’t care enough about you and there really is no wiggle room on this one.
A good man who wants to be with his woman for the long-term won’t lie.
There’s nothing to lie about. If he’s not cheating or trying to manipulate you, there’s no reason not to tell the truth.
If you have caught him in any kind of lie, that’s a sign that he doesn’t value you or the relationship.
No wiggle room on this one!
#12 – He Forgets Everything
We all forget sometimes, but not all the time.
Did he forget your anniversary? Your birthday? The dinner plans you had with your parents?
Did he forget that you asked him to bring home a bag of sugar?
Did it slip his mind that you talked about not putting the towels on the floor?
If you’re in tune with your feminine energy, that means you’re bringing a lot of success, inner peace, beauty and sexuality to this relationship. The least he can do is remember your birthday.
Learn more about how feminine energy attracts high-quality men.
#11 – He Doesn’t Want To Hangout With Your Circle
Men who want to be in long-term relationships know that means he’s also in a relationship with your friends and family.
He should want to include himself in your circle of people.
If he doesn’t want to be part of this circle, it’s a big sign that he doesn’t care enough to be part of the things that are important to you.
It’s one thing if he rolls his eyes when he has to visit your mom, it’s another thing if he never wants to visit her.
That’s a sign of a man who doesn’t see your relationship as a cohesive family unit and this kind of man is not going to make a great husband.
This includes visiting your friends and your family, even if he doesn’t want to.
#10 – He Always Has To Be Right
This one is really bad.
In a relationship, 99.9% of the time, you’re both right.
That’s right! There is rarely a time when one person is 100% wrong because there are always two sides to every story.
This means that arguments shouldn’t be a boxing match to prove who is the winner or the loser, they should be calm discussions to see how you can work through a problem and get to a solution.
Think of every argument as a bridge that takes you from sitting on your own individual islands to sitting on the same one where they serve better Pina Coladas.
If he never takes your feelings into account and always has to prove how he was right, this shows that he doesn’t care about you or the relationship – he only cares about himself!
He just wants to show you why his island is better than yours, and doesn’t want you to come join him.
Everyone makes mistakes – including him! If he can’t see that then he clearly doesn’t care enough about you and is only interested in keeping up appearances.
#9 – He Has Double Standards
Does he have little rules about things that only apply to you?
An article from BetterHelp defines a relationship double standard as:
A double standard is a rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups. In an intimate relationship, this usually occurs when one partner has expectations of the other that they fail to apply to themselves. Double standards in romantic relationships can manifest in many ways, from money matters and dressing habits to sexual behaviors and roles within a family.BetterHelp
So let’s say that he wants to buy a house and says you have to start saving money so the both of you can afford it.
You go ahead and start being as frugal as possible to start meeting your goals, and the next day he comes home with a new PlayStation!
If he’s making rules, then he needs to apply those rules to himself as well, or talk to you about whether or not it’s ok to bend the rules.
If he just goes around and does things like that without talking to you, he clearly only cares about himself and doesn’t care to bring you into the conversation.
#8 – You Feel Like You’re Not A Priority
Does he always have plans or “other things” to do?
One day he’s staying late at work, then he needs to help his buddy move, then he needs to give his mom a ride to her yoga class, then he needs to finish building his airplane model…
Sure, all those things are important for him, but where do you fit in?
When does he say “sorry, I can’t I have plans with my girlfriend”? or “I took this Friday off so we can go on a little weekend trip.”
Yes, life gets busy, but he shouldn’t be so busy that you always feel like you’re coming in last on his list of priorities.
A high-quality man with healthy masculine energy will make you feel wanted, loved and like you’re his biggest priority in life.
If you want to learn more about meeting higher-quality men with feminine energy, click here.
#7 – He Doesn’t Help You
A high-quality man with good masculine energy will want to help you.
Feminine energy is all about using the help of others and understanding that life doesn’t always have to be on you.
You don’t always have to do everything yourself.
There is strength in the feminine ability to get her man to help her, but if he’s too lazy to help – he clearly doesn’t care enough about you.
He’ll help you get groceries, he’ll take the package to the post-office, he’ll bring home dinner on the way home from work etc.
If he’s not doing his fair share of helping, he’s not a quality man and you deserve better.
Learn more about how to use feminine strength with men here.
#6 – He Never Buys You Anything
I’m not talking about fancy Tiffany rings here.
I just mean that a man who cares about his woman will buy her stuff.
This could mean “you didn’t have to do that” kind of things like flowers or jewelry, but it doesn’t have to be so extreme.
A quality man will offer to pay when you go out to eat. He’ll whip out his credit card when you’re at the grocery store and he’ll put the Netflix subscription on his billing schedule.
Men who are high-quality partners and care about their woman don’t mind paying. It doesn’t mean he has to be the one paying all the time, but he should offer often, if not every time.
This shows he has a “provider” mentality which is what masculine men bring to healthy relationships with feminine women.
These kinds of relationships have more chemistry, passion and romantic connection.
A man who never pays, shouldn’t stay.
#5 – He Doesn’t Want to Talk About The Future
Does he roll his eyes or get fidgety whenever you want to chat about where things are going?
This is a bad sign ladies!
If you have been seeing your man for 6 months or more, it’s only natural to see what his intentions are.
He doesn’t have to make solid plans right here, right now, but he should at least be willing to discuss them.
He can say things like “I’d like to get married someday” or “yes, I’d like to have kids, just not sure when”.
Things like that are perfectly fine. He doesn’t need to know all the answers: he just needs to be willing to chat about them.
Related: Needs vs. Wants In A Relationship
#4 – He Doesn’t Compliment Your Appearance
A man who never calls you beautiful is not high-quality.
You are a strong, feminine woman and you deserve to be treated like the attractive catch that you are. As a feminine powerhouse, you take pride in your appearance and you deserve to have that effort noticed by your man.
When you get dressed up, he should complement you. He should use words like “sexy and hot” but also more endearing words, like “beautiful, gorgeous, and stunning.”
A quality man with healthy masculine energy will see your sex appeal in a good way. He respects you as a woman but also appreciates your body exactly the way you like to present it.
This acceptance from your man should make you feel amazing. He should make you feel confident, secure and like you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.
If he’s not doing this, he doesn’t care enough about you for him to be worth your time.
Related: How To Attract Higher-Quality Men
#3 – He Leaves You Hanging During Sex
As a professional dating coach, I’ve heard a lot of sex horror stories.
Now, I will let you know something – it’s actually pretty common for men to leave women hanging during sex.
Most men are just not very well educated on how to please a woman in the bedroom – and this is ok!
As strong feminine women, it’s up to us to help our men satisfy us in the bedroom.
So if you’ve done your part and shown him what you like, then he should have all the tools he needs to make sure sex is a happy experience for both of you.
If he doesn’t go out of his way to make sure you’re having a good time after you’ve shown him the ropes – this is a huge sign that he doesn’t care about you.
Sex is a two-way street. If he’s leaving you hanging then you can leave him. End of story.
Related: How Many Dates Before Having Sex?
#2 – He Criticizes You
If you’re in a high-quality relationship with a man who loves you, he should never criticize you.
That’s right – I said never.
He can mention things he doesn’t like. For example:
“I don’t like it when you leave the gas tank empty” or “I don’t really like this kind of pasta that you made, can we buy the other kind?”
Those are totally fine.
What is not fine is if he says:
“You’re such an irresponsible driver when you leave the gas tank empty” or “your cooking needs work, I don’t like this kind of pasta”.
See the difference? As soon as he starts making things about you, that’s one of the biggest signs doesn’t care enough and also that he’s just not a very nice person.
#1 – He Complains About The Relationship
He can say things that he doesn’t like about the relationship, but he can’t complain about the relationship itself.
“I’d like to try some new things in the bedroom”
“Our sex life doesn’t satisfy me”
“You seem to be getting mad at me a lot lately- is everything ok?”
“This relationship makes me feel like crap, we’re always fighting.”
When he starts making small hiccups in the relationship a reason to hate the entire relationship, that’s a sign that he doesn’t care much about you or the relationship. He should be working with you to try and make the relationship better.
How Do You Know If He Cares Deeply?
Deep down, he might be doing some of this stuff, but he still cares about you.
It’s common for men to stop acting nicely if they feel upset or emotionally detached from the relationship.
What you need to do is ask yourself:
“Do I want to leave him?
Don’t use your brain to think of the answer, use your gut. Deep-down, you’ll know the right decision to make. This is part of your feminine intuition.
If you still love him and you really want to try and make things work, have a sit-down with him and strongly consider couples counseling.
How To Attract A Man That Is High Quality
I hope you found this article helpful. You may have noticed me talk about feminine energy along the way. I strongly believe in the power of feminine energy to attract -higher quality men and to foster healthier relationships.
Learn more about attracting men with feminine energy in my guide “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men”. It’s free!
Thanks for checking out my article on 18 Signs He Doesn’t Care Enough About You. I wish you all the best in your dating life.
Love your favorite dating coach,