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10 Shocking Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

I know it hurts. One day, like a slap to the face, you ask yourself “does he still love me?” and you’re not exactly sure of the answer. You’ve probably been noticing some signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

Signs he doesn't love you anymore

You’re Noticing Something Is Off

I’ve been there and although it sucks, the quicker you know the answer, the quicker you can make a decision that is going to move your life forward in the right direction.

As a strong feminine woman, you know you will be able to get through whatever comes your way.

But first, you’re noticing something is off and we can’t ignore that intuition. All women have an intuition or a “gut” instinct that helps us stay safe and loved in relationships. It’s the little voice in your head that tells you when something is wrong. So, we must look at the signs.

From paying less attention to you, to becoming more argumentative, something on his end seems to have changed—and it’s not looking good.

Sound familiar? If so, I’m sorry to say that you may be dealing with a case of unrequited love, let’s break it down.

Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

If it’s true that he’s fallen out of love with you, there’ll be some tell-tale signs.

#10 — He’s Spending Less Time With You

The first major sign that he’s feeling differently is if it seems like you hardly see him anymore. 

Has he stopped texting you? Has he stopped asking you out on dates? Or maybe he ends the dates quickly and says he needs to work the next day or he’s really tired.

Perhaps you live together and he’s always staying overnight at his family’s house. Or maybe when you ask him to hang out, he constantly says he has plans with friends.

He’s a man who’s slowly pulling away.

Either way, the time you now spend together has decreased significantly compared to the time you used to spend together. However, it’s not for lack of trying on your part.

This is definitely a sign that he needs space and in my years as a dating coach and matchmaker, I would say this is one of the biggest signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

This is because, when we’re in love and not lust, we want to spend time with the other person. In fact, we may even want to spend too much time with them.

If he’s going out of his way to spend time with everyone but you, things are not looking good, but don’t make any crazy moves yet.

First, make sure that you’re using your feminine energy to draw him closer to you. If you need help using your feminine energy to make a man chase you, learn more about that in my free guide: Attract Better Men With Feminine Energy

Related: If He Hasn’t Texted You For A Week, Do This

#9 — The Time You Spend Together is Strained

Now let’s take a look at how things are going when you are spending time together.

Have things changed? Maybe it’s not happy-go-lucky compared to the beginning of your relationship. This could be because of a few reasons, such as the following:

  • He doesn’t seem to laugh at your jokes anymore
  • The conversation doesn’t flow
  • There’s no flirting or goofiness
  • There are moments of uncomfortable silence
  • You’re increasingly bickering or having heated discussions
  • Little things spark a fight, like what to eat for dinner or whether or not to spend the night together

Maybe it even feels awkward at times, which is upsetting because it wasn’t ever like that before. Right?

The biggest indicator of a healthy relationship is if you can answer “YES” to the following question:

“Does my partner make me feel happy 90% of the time?”

If your time together is constantly strained, awkward or unpleasant, then there is no way you’re answering yes to that question. If this is the case, it doesn’t really matter if he doesn’t love you anymore – the truth is you are heading towards a toxic relationship.

Unless you can pinpoint why he’s acting this way (maybe he just got fired, or his dog died) then this is one of the signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

Related: Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship

#8 — He’s Less Affectionate With You

Another sign he may be falling out of love with you is if there’s a lack of physical touch in your relationship. He may be forgetting to kiss you goodbye or even hold your hand.

Alternatively, does he refuse your attempts at affection? For example, when you go to cuddle him, does he brush you off?

Perhaps there’s even reduced bedroom action or you’ve not had sex in (what feels like) forever—even though you’ve tried to initiate it on more than one occasion. In this case, this could be an indicator that there’s an underlying issue that needs addressing.

Related: Why Men Pull Away After Sex

#7 — You Barely Communicate

Is your emotional connection suffering as much as your physical connection, whether you’re together or apart?

Specifically, I’m talking about hardly talking at home or your man failing to text you back when you’re not with him.

Communication is the key to any healthy partnership. If you have good communication, it’s easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger bond.

When you’re not communicating, you can feel disconnected from each other, which can lead to a whole host of problems.

As a strong feminine woman, you know that a high-quality man is going to be the one to put in the effort and move the relationship forward.

If he’s growing distant, not texting you and not wanting to reach out, then he’s not being very high-quality.

Remember, if you try to do these things for him, you’re giving him the wrong idea of what you need to feel loved and appreciated. Strong feminine women know their worth and need a guy to step up and take action in a relationship. You can learn more about that here: How To Be More Feminine To Attract Higher-Quality Men

#6 — He Doesn’t Listen to You

Perhaps you still communicate as a couple but it’s not positive communication. For instance:

  • You talk over each other or interrupt each other
  • It’s one-sided and feels like work
  • He forgets important things you’ve told him, like a family event you asked him to show up to
  • He doesn’t even try to listen to you

Maybe he dissociates himself from the conversation by tapping away on his phone while you’re talking or staring into space. 

Either way, you don’t feel seen or heard. Remember, a healthy relationship is one where you feel good 90% of the time. If he’s not doing this for you, he’s not very high-quality and it’s a big sign that he doesn’t love you anymore.

Don’t worry, you are better than a man who doesn’t treat you right.

As a dating coach, one of the biggest things I tell my clients is that if he’s not lifting you up, he’s tearing you down. This is NOT the kind of person you need in your life if you’re going to thrive.

You’ve accomplished so much without him. You have a great job, great friends, and you’ve got your sh*t together. So don’t let a loser who doesn’t love you bring you down.

Related: Realistic Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship

#5 — He Doesn’t Keep You in the Loop

Likewise, do you feel like you have no idea what’s going on with him?

From what he’s doing at the weekend to the fact that he got a promotion at work. If you’re finding out information from mutual friends or social media instead of the man himself that is a big red flag.

This is a surefire sign he has a wall up and is trying to make himself emotionally unavailable. According to Women’s Health, there are other signs of dating an emotionally unavailable partner:

  • He’s literally unavailable—and prefers to put a physical distance between you to mask the emotional distance
  • He doesn’t respect your time—he’s late to dates or cancels at the last minute
  • He thinks emotions are weak—and associates emotional needs with negativity, which means he avoids having emotional conversations
  • He’s defensive—instead of explaining how he really feels, he goes into defence mode at every opportunity
  • He pulls away—the more you try to connect with him, the more this push for closeness feels uncomfortable or scary

I mean, at this rate, you might as well be in a relationship with yourself—right? This is NOT good. Please for the sake of all that is good in this world, re-evaluate what you want out of a relationship and if this is not it, then leave. Your future self will thank you.

Related: How To Let Go Of Someone You Love

#4 — He Doesn’t Take an Interest in Your Life

Similarly, he never asks you what you’re up to or what’s new.

Or worse, he doesn’t listen to you when you’re trying to tell him what’s new. Is he brushing you off? Ignoring you? Forgetting things you’ve told him?

If so, he’s clearly checked out and is showing no interest in who you are as a person and where your life is going.

He’s stopped putting energy into the relationship and it’s making you feel irrelevant and like you don’t matter. 

Even though this is hard to come to terms with, it could be because he doesn’t love you as much as he once did.

Otherwise, he would surely make more of an effort, this is the bare minimum requirement for someone who is going to be your significant other.

He absolutely, 100% needs to care about you…

I remember dating a guy who I was in love with but he was just mean. He didn’t listen to me, he didn’t go out of his way to make me feel special, I was constantly fighting for his attention and yet, I was still hanging onto him. I clearly didn’t know my own self-worth at the time.

If you’re struggling with this, it could be a confidence issue, an abandonment issue, or you’re just trying to fill a gap in your life.

Although it’s understandable, we all fall into these traps- we both know it’s unhealthy. You sitting there reading this, and me typing this out – we can both feel it. If you are forcing something that isn’t working, you’re going to get hurt.

Related: How To Attract Higher-Quality Men

#3 — You’re Having More Arguments

Another of the biggest signs that he doesn’t love you anymore is if your conversations often result in bickering or an argument and it’s a big sign that he doesn’t care about you.

This could be because he doesn’t listen, touch you, or try to please you in any way. Or maybe it’s because he’s being cold and distant and when you try to understand why, he pulls away even more.

Regardless, even if you used to argue once a blue moon, now it’s become constant. In other words, it’s starting to take its toll on your mental and emotional health—this is not healthy and more importantly, not sustainable.

Remember, a solid relationship should last, not for months or even years, but for decades. Just imagine that to yourself – can you put up with these kinds of interactions for the next couple of decades of your life?

If no, something needs to change. You need to work things out with him or decide that he doesn’t love you anymore and make the best decision for yourself. Nobody can tell you the right answer but you.

Listening to your gut instinct is the best way to navigate through this.

Related: How To Fight Fair So You Don’t Breakup With Your Soul Mate

#2 — He Doesn’t Comfort You When You’re Upset

Have you ever broken down during a fight and he’s sat there seemingly unbothered? This is one of the biggest signs that he doesn’t love you anymore. It is a HUGE red flag.

The person who should love you most in this world is your significant other.

Yes, I said it. Not your mom, your siblings, or your best friend, it’s your significant other. If he can watch you in emotional suffering, sometimes even knowing he’s the cause of that pain and not care – that is NOT NORMAL.

It’s a red flag in relationships and you shouldn’t ignore it.

The same goes for communicating your feelings. Have you tried to communicate you’re upset about a friendship fallout or something that doesn’t concern him and he’s just brushed it off?

If so, this indicates that he doesn’t feel connected to you and he may be considering cutting ties altogether.

Perhaps he even calls you “sensitive” or “intense” when you get emotional. This is because closed-off people struggle to be empathetic and criticize those who wear their hearts on their sleeves.

Even though it can be challenging, try not to take these comments personally—it’s not a true reflection of who you are and simply a reflection that he’s not the right person for you.

Related: How To Tell If You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship

#1 — He’s Overly Critical of You

Speaking of being critical, another of the biggest signs he love you anymore is if he finds fault in every little thing that you do.

He’s short with you and has no patience or tolerance for you. In fact, it may even feel like nothing you ever do is right.

And this can be extremely difficult to take when comments are being made day in, day out.

This is also a slippery slope to emotional abuse, you want to make sure you’re not heading in that direction with anyone.

Related: Do I Have Abandonment Issues?

What to Do If He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

Even though it’s heartbreaking to learn that your partner of X amount of months or years may not love you anymore, it’s best to know sooner rather than later.

To move forward, you need to have an open and honest conversation.

Don’t Avoid the Conversation

When couples put their disagreements “on pause,” they run the risk of never being able to resolve the problem.

The bottom line is, it needs addressing sooner rather than later before things escalate.

Prepare to Have the Conversation

Alert your partner that there’s something important you’d like to discuss and give him a chance to mentally prepare.

Pick a time and date in the near future where you can have a private, one-on-one conversation in a quiet place.

Steer Clear of “But” Sentences During the Conversation

A “but” sentence involves softening the blow of bad news by starting with good news.

Phrase your comments in a direct manner, whether they’re positive or negative, and end with “good news” to leave the conversation on the best note.

Agree on the Best Way Forward

In any type of negotiation, the outcome is more satisfying to all parties if they agree on an acceptable set of results.

Even if one of you wants to continue with the relationship and the other one doesn’t, you can agree on common goals for each person to “save face,” i.e. you’ll move out by the end of the month.

Stay Optimistic

Until you’ve had the conversation, try to stay positive about it.

Feeling that the situation is lost before you’ve had the opportunity to tackle it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy and make you interpret everything your partner says in a negative way.

Analyze the Conversation

After you’ve talked it out, ask yourself how it went.

Was the conversation productive? Did the two of you figure out a good way to move forward that makes both of you happy or did you just argue in circles the whole time?

Do you feel closer and more connected with him after having the conversation or do this feel worse now?

If the conversation didn’t go well, it might be good to take a deep look into your relationship and make sure this is what you want for the long-term.

As a dating coach, it is my deepest passion to see people in happy and healthy relationships and I wish that for you.

Related: Realistic Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship

How To Attract A Man That Is High Quality

I hope you found this article helpful. Throughout this article you might have seen me reference “strong feminine women” and that is because you can use feminine energy to attract higher-quality men and reach inner feminine strength.

Learn more about attracting men with feminine energy in my guide “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men”.


There are many reasons why a man might fall out of love with a woman. That said, sometimes you’re able to get the spark back if you’re willing to work together.

If he refuses to try, he doesn’t deserve any more of your precious time and energy. In this case, invest it into someone who will reciprocate your love and make you feel like the only woman in the world.

Love, your favorite dating coach.


Lana Otoya

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