Going through a breakup is one of the biggest challenges you’ll ever face.
After all, you spend so long getting to know a guy and integrating him in every aspect of your life, only for you to suddenly become strangers again.
It Really Hurts
It’s like grieving a loss of a loved one — and, needless to say, it hurts like hell.
However, oftentimes, a breakup doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end of your relationship…
Sometimes, a breakup means that your love story is simply on pause.
But how do you know this? Take a look at these 10 signs your ex will eventually come back.
Why Wouldn’t Your Ex Just Tell You He Wants You Back?
First things first, men don’t always say what they want, especially when it comes to the opposite sex.
Sure, he may want you back deep down. But he may not know how to tell you that.
Why? Well, it’s usually down to one or a combination of the following:
- Pride, if he’s the one that has ended the relationship and doesn’t want to be seen as the one that comes “crawling back”
- Fear of rejection, if he feels vulnerable and scared of you turning around and saying that you no longer want to be with him
- Feelings of guilt, if he feels like he’s already put you through a lot and that you deserve better
Essentially, his fear of experiencing hurt and pain (or inflicting hurt and pain) may prevent him from communicating how he really feels.
Instead, he may show you in his actions.
10 Signs Your Ex Will Come Back
#10 — You Ended On Good Terms
The first sign that your ex might come back is if the breakup went smoothly. Or at least as smoothly as break-ups go.
The truth is, most people who consciously uncouple get into all kinds of fights, especially if:
- One or both of them have cheated
- There has been name-calling and character assassination
- One side is putting in all the effort and the other is just “taking” and not “giving”
In your case, if there wasn’t any drama and it was more of a mutual decision, this bodes well for the future.
I mean, even if you don’t end up getting back together, you’ll have no ill-feeling towards your ex. And this will help you to move on faster. Fact.
#9 – You’re Just “Taking A Break”
Have you even broken up properly with your guy? Or did you agree to be “on a break”? (Cue Ross and Rachel flashbacks.)
If it’s the latter, you might have talked about the time apart being temporary before you went your separate ways.
Be sure to actually take the time apart though.
After all, according to Global News, the break is more likely to work out long-term if you follow these golden rules:
- Set a reasonable time frame that’s anything from one week to a month — anything longer than a month tends to be a breakup, not a break
- Cut off communication completely — this is so that you can give yourself time to reflect and heal from your relationship
- Be honest with yourself and how you feel — if you don’t miss him, this is a clear indicator that the ship might have sailed so-to-speak (and that’s okay!)
- Don’t date other people because you haven’t broken up yet — it’s not fair on the other person and it could create even more issues
Usually, during a break, time will reveal what you should do next. You just need to be patient until you get the “aha!” moment.
Here are some Self Care activities you can do to keep up your mental health.
#8 – He’s Hinted About You Getting Back Together in the Future
During the breakup, did your ex hint or actually tell you he wants to get back together in the future?
If so, he might very well come back to you at a later date.
Having said that, some guys may choose to leave you with false hope because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
That’s why it’s important that you don’t wait around for an ex. Move on. Live your life. Be happy.
And if you guys end up gravitating back to each other, then you’re obviously meant to be. Got it?
#7 – He Keeps Texting You
Another sign that things aren’t over between you and your ex is if you’re still talking to each other. And frequently.
I mean, if you’re supposed to be broken up but he keeps blowing up your phone like the breakup never happened, what’s that all about?
He could be trying to be your friend and check in on you from time to time.
Either way, recurrent communication is an indicator that he’s struggling to let you go and there might well be a chance of reconciliation in the future.
#6 – He Keeps Stalking You on Social Media
Likewise, does your ex keep liking your Facebook photos and watching your Instagram Stories as if his life depended on it? Then he might be pining for you and your old relationship.
This is an obvious sign that he is missing you.
In fact, according to WebMD, there are several reasons why people hide behind social media.
- It makes people more confident — if your ex wants you back but he’s scared of rejection, he might feel more comfortable reaching out through Twitter, for example
- It helps people to get information — he might be using social media as a way to “keep an eye” on you until he’s ready to pursue you again
- It’s another way to be social without actually being social — being active on your profiles might be your ex’s way of keeping in touch with you and letting you know that he’s thinking of you
Generally speaking, if your ex is stalking you on social media, there’s no way he’s over you.
#5 – He Still Hasn’t Returned Your Things
Was your breakup some time ago? Have you given him back his toothbrush, DVDs, and the stuff he left in your car? And did he promise that he would return the things that you left at his house ASAP — but he still hasn’t?
In this case, he might be putting it off.
Why? Well, because he’s holding out hope that you’ll get back together, of course.
And if you do, there’d be no point in giving back your possessions. Right?
#4 – He Still Speaks to Your Family and Friends
If your ex continues to talk to your family and friends even though you’re not in the picture anymore, this is a surefire sign he’s got plans to stick around.
Otherwise, why would he bother making an effort with your loved ones?
Typically, when you break up with someone, you also break up with their family and friends.
After all, it’s too painful to continue spending time with the people who remind you of your ex — even if you did get along with them
Is your ex still very much in the picture and he wants you to know about it?
Or maybe he’s not openly telling you that he’s seeing your loved ones and they’re approaching you about it?
Either way, if he’s not putting measures in place to cut ties, you have to ask yourself why.
#3 – He Keeps Trying to Flirt With You When Drunk
Does your ex keep calling you on a weekend night when he’s had a few too many with the guys?
Does he flirt outrageously? Or does he outright ask you for a booty call?
Newsflash: a flirty ex is an ex that isn’t trying to get over you. It’s an ex that’s trying to stay under you.
Even if you want him back too, I’d advise refraining from doing anything while one (or both) of you are intoxicated.
Alcohol can significantly impair your judgment — and you don’t want to have any regrets in the morning.
#2 – He’s Not Dating Anyone Else
Has your ex been romantically linked with another woman since you split up?
Whether this is a date, kiss, or swipe on Tinder, if the answer is a huge, resounding “no,” this says a lot about his intentions.
It suggests that he might be leaving the door open for you guys to get back together.
And you’d know this for sure if he starts getting jealous when he sees you with other guys — even if it’s an innocent hang-out with a male friend.
#1 – He’s Told You How Unhappy He Is
The most obvious sign your ex will eventually come back is if he keeps telling you how miserable he is without you.
Whether this is by sending you lyrics to sad love songs or calling you in tears, he’ll be pretty upfront with his feelings.
And this will make your heart go out to him.
Alternatively, if your ex isn’t an overly emotional person, he may go down the route of just hinting that he’s not doing well.
Either way, it’s important to be as kind as you can towards him while prioritising yourself and your feelings.
How to Deal With a Returning Ex
Hear Him Out
If your ex is trying to reach out to you, he clearly has something to say. So, let him say it.
Even if you don’t want to hear it initially, you need to eventually.
Why? Well, if you refuse, it’s likely that you’re always going to look back and wonder in years to come.
(And nobody wants regrets!)
Talk Through Your Relationship Issues
Seen as though you’ve opened up the lines of communication with your ex, you might as well air everything out.
(I mean, if you’re going to do something, do it properly — right?)
If you’re leaning towards breaking up, say everything you want to say now because you might not get another opportunity.
And this means no holding back.
On the other hand, do you think you might want to give things another go? Then you need to discuss with your ex what went wrong in your relationship in great detail.
Admit where you went wrong, be open about your concerns, and listen to him without judgment. (As difficult as this may be!)
Decide if it’s Fixable
Sometimes when you break up with someone, too much has happened and you can’t get back what you once had — no matter how much you want to.
If this is the case for you, there’s nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree. You can move on with your head held high, knowing that you tried your best.
However, if both partners are adamant that they want to make things work, you might want to try again.
Before you dive straight in, it’s important to address the reasons why you initially broke up. Figure out how you can solve these issues moving forward.
- Where did your relationship break down?
- What can each of you do differently to make the other person happy?
- How are you going to ensure these issues don’t resurface later on down the line?
Check out this article on “Why You Deserve A Better Relationship” to make sure you’re not falling back into something that was unhealthy.
You have to come to a mutual agreement that your relationship is fixable. If one is unsure and the other is 100% all-in, this can cause problems in the future.
Whether you agree to cut all ties for the greater good or try again as a couple, you both need to accept what has happened.
See what’s to come as a new chapter of your lives. Move forward. Evolve. Don’t look back.
And if you do end up back together with your ex, you can’t keep dragging up the past. If both of you make a pact to leave it behind you, you just might find that your relationship is better than ever.
How To Attract A Man That Is High Quality
I hope you found these signs your ex will eventually come back helpful, but it does you no good if you’re not attracting High-Quality.
You’re a confident and successful woman and you need a confident and successful man.
If you’re interested in learning what High-Quality men look for in a woman, check out my Free Guide “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men”. It’s free!
If your ex is going to eventually come back to you, the universe will give you some signs.
That said, if it’s not meant to be, this will become apparent too.
Either way, you’re going to be just fine.
Love, your favorite dating coach.