A Stage 5 Clinger – Is Clinginess A Dealbreaker?

How to deal with a stage 5 clinger dating coach for women
Lana Otoya

You really like him but, he’s kind of smothering you. His clinginess is a turnoff but is it a dealbreaker? Here’s how to deal with a stage 5 clinger.

What To Do With A Stage 5 Clinger

Downright Creepy

As a dating coach for women, I hear a lot of weird things that men do on dates and in relationships, but there’s a line between weird and creepy.

There are certain things that are just downright not ok and if your man is doing these, you better run because that’s a real creepy stage 5 clinger.

Dealbreakers:

Moving The Relationship Too Fast

  • He says “I Love You” and you’ve been dating for less than a month.
  • Wants to get married and it’s been less than 6 months.
  • He pressures you to move the relationship faster than you want to. This means being “official” before you’re ready or moving in before you’re ready.

Stalking Or Jealous Behavior

  • He’s seemingly stalking or following you, showing up in random places where you are.
  • He’s constantly commenting or liking all your social media posts. Men will tend to do this, but there is a line when it becomes “too much” if he’s doing it for every post and posts from months or years ago.
  • He knows things you haven’t told him, a big sign that he’s creeping you online and doesn’t have the mental capacity to keep this a total secret because it’s really creepy.
  • He wants to look at your phone or have access to your social media.
  • He’s seemingly stalking or following you, showing up in random places where you are.

Smothering Behavior

  • Wanting to hang out with you every day and you’ve been dating for less than a month.
  • Texting you way too much. Starting five or more conversations for every one of yours.
  • Showing up at your workplace or home, uninvited, just to “surprise” you.
  • He seems to always agree with everything you say and never has an opinion that differs from yours.
  • He wants to start joining in on all your hobbies or interests.

The Above Is Just Stage 5 Clinger Guideline

“But, So and So Got Married To Her Soul Mate on Their First Date”

Yes, I know. You have a friend who rushed into things and everything turned out ok. There are exceptions to these rules. There always are.

The above dealbreakers just a guideline to help you diagnose a stage five clinger.

What Makes A Man Clingy?

A stage 5 clinger is actually a big sign of emotional instability.

Attaching yourself too quickly to someone that you have just met shows one or all of the following traits:

  • Immaturity
  • Insecurity
  • Desperation
  • Longing for connection
  • Depression
  • Not recovered from an ex-relationship
  • Excitement

Now, most of those things were really bad and you wouldn’t want to get involved with someone like that.

But the last one is “excitement” which is not so bad.

Excitement is something that could happen to the best of us.

As dating coach Evan Marc Katz puts it:

Yeah, it’s a drag when a guy says he really likes you and makes a supreme effort to see you. I’m sure all the women who are waiting by the phone for their dates to call are feeling particularly bad for you.I kid… because it’s about as ironic as any dating situation can be. We want people to be real, authentic, and emotionally available, yet we cringe and we flee when they are.

When we’re head over heels in love, it’s something that we can’t always help.

How To Know If He’s Clingy or Just Excited

First things first, if he’s doing multiple of the dealbreakers listed above, it’s creepy. Letting the “I Love You” slip too early could happen to anyone.

Letting it slip, while also wanting to move in and get married, is a dealbreaker. It’s too fast and we don’t live in that world anymore.

We hear stories or our parents or grandparents settling down really fast, but marriage and relationships were so much different back then.

In today’s world, most people want to really make sure the person they are with is going to be a good match. It is a sign of maturity and understanding that love is based on compatibility and mutual life goals rather than lust.

Related Post: 5 Dating Standards That Actually Matter

Signs of Just Being Excited

Here’s a breakdown for how to know if he’s not really a stage 5 clinger, and is just excited to have met someone awesome.

  1. He wants to hang out and spend time with you, but he’s not too concerned about labels.

A man who is head over heels in love will want to text you and hang out because he enjoys your company. This is perfectly acceptable.

Although it may feel creepy or like a turnoff, there’s nothing wrong with a man acting like a little puppy. He’s human too and not all men need to have this “alpha male” “I’m not interested” persona.

But wanting to lock it in that you are now “Boyfriend and Girlfriend” shows that he is more concerned about the label than properly developing a connection with you.

2. He gives you a lot of compliments.

Unless this is coupled with multiple dealbreakers from above, there’s really nothing wrong with him telling you how awesome you are.

In fact, this shows that he is willing to make himself vulnerable and is good at sharing his feelings.

These are traits that will actually make him a great boyfriend!

He is not afraid of showing his sensitive sign and putting his ego on the line to make you feel good.

Sometimes a lot of compliments can feel smothering or like “too much” at the beginning of a relationship, but don’t worry!

When the excitement wears off, so will the compliments.

3. He Invited You To A Big Event

He invited you to a wedding, a family dinner or a friend’s birthday.

This could just mean that he wants you to come with him to a fun event. He may not necessarily realize how “serious” it is to have a new girlfriend meet the other people in his life.

This is also a good sign because it shows that he is willing to introduce you to the people he loves. He is excited about finally meeting someone awesome and wants to see what his friends and family think.

A man who is serious about a long-term relationship is likely to do this so this is not a stage 5 clinger, this is a sign of a great boyfriend-to-be!

Related Post: How To Know If He Loves You – 10 Signs of Real Connection

The Bottom Line: He Respects Your Wishes

The best way for how to deal with a stage 5 clinger is seeing if he listens to your needs and wishes.

If you tell him you’re not ready to be boyfriend and girlfriend and he respects that, that’s awesome.

If you want to hang out with your friends this weekend instead of Being with him, he should tell you to “have fun.”

When he listens and respects you, that’s a good sign that he’s a not a stage 5 clinger and instead, is just excited to have met someone awesome.

How To Attract A Man That Is High Quality

I hope you found this article helpful, but it does you no good if you’re not attracting High-Quality. If you’re a confident and successful woman, you need a confident and successful man. If you’re interested in learning what High-Quality men look for in a woman, check out my Free Checklist “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men”. It’s free!

How To Attract High-Quality Men

With love from your favourite dating coach,

-Lana

Related:

5 Dating Standards That Actually Matter

I’m Not Attracted To My Boyfriend – Now What?

How To Know If He Loves You 10 Signs Of Real Connection

What Makes A Good Husband – 10 Traits of A High Quality Man

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *