If you’re looking for tips on long-distance relationships, it’s probably because you really love someone and want to make sure you don’t lose them. You may be feeling some doubt about whether or not a long-distance relationship can even work out – but I’m here to tell you… it can!
10. Do Long-Distance Relationships Last?
When you have a long-distance relationship, you are facing a challenge that other couples don’t have. So it’s good to be realistic about what this means for you and your partner. Let’s take a look at some data from experts about the success of long-distance relationships.
- A 2018 survey found that 60% of long-distance relationships last.
- Academic researchers report that 37% of long-distance couples break up within 3 months of becoming geographically close.
Ok so let’s break down those statistics on how successful long-distance relationships really are. The first stat says that more than half of couples actually stay together! That’s amazing news considering that for many years the divorce rate was at 50%. So that should give you some reassurance that your relationship can definitely last.
The next stat also gives us one of our first tips for long-distance relationships…
9. They Aren’t “Reality”
The academic research report said that 37% of long-distance couples break up when they move back together. This tells us that something major changes when a couple who normally doesn’t spend a lot of time together, finally starts. Long-distance relationships are often not the reality because you only see each other once in a while.
It’s kind of like if you vacation in Mexico every year at a resort, it’s going to be a lot different if you actually moved there and started living like a local.
Oftentimes long-distance relationships are like “vacations”. You see each other for a weekend and it’s like being on vacation. You spend a lot of quality time together, you have amazing sex multiple times and you are both in a freakishly good mood.
So what can you do about it?
The best thing you can do is to try and keep up healthy communication when you’re apart. This allows you to see what the other person is like on a regular Wednesday evening which is a much better look into how your life will be when. You finally move back together.
8. Work On Your Mental Health
A very surprising statistic showed that long-distance relationships can actually be really good for your mental health. According to some research from Time Magazine, “long-distance couples tend to have the same or more satisfaction in their relationships than couples who are geographically close, and higher levels of dedication to their relationships, and less feelings of being trapped.”
This is great news! Your relationship can now act as a starting point to head towards extremely good mental health. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you have more time to work on yourself. You can make more friends, spend time with them, take up new hobbies and learn new skills.
The more you work on your individuality, the more confidence and happiness you will have on your own. You can then bring these good qualities into your relationship and help make it more successful.
Research from Psychology Today highlights this point:
The goal in a relationship is to be close and still maintain an identity as a separate person. When people are in an individualized state, they are happier and more optimistic. They have a stronger sense of themselves so they are capable of more intimacy, love, and passion in their relationship.
7. Embrace Long-Distance Activities You Can Do
One of the best tips for long-distance relationships is to understand that your activities are going to look a little different. The experts at My Sweet LDR say that one of the main causes of boredom is that “distance limits the possibilities of activities to do”. This is so true, you’re not going to be able to just make dinner together or watch TV as easily as a couple who already lives together. Local concerts, festivals or events are also off the table.
So what can you do?
There’s so much! Here is a list of activities for long-distance relationships:
- Read books together and discuss them – yes this means actually reading them out loud to each other
- Play online video games
- Play virtual board games
- Watch movies or TV shows together while on Skype or other phone call
- Read some news articles about where the other person lives
- Have mutual goals or challenges (train for a marathon, go swimming every day, build lego)
- Do a crossword together
- Make art together! This can be digital art or art that involves each of you working on a piece that you can put together next time you see each other
- Create slideshows for each other. Do this to show your partner your passions, your travels, your taste in music or anything else you want to share with them. It’s a fun way to get to know each other.
6. Have Casual Hang-Out Time
This is probably my favorite and most important tip for long-distance relationships.
The one major disadvantage to having a long-distance relationship is that the conversations can get dull and start to feel like a chore. This is because long-distance couples always need to be “on”.
During a Skype conversation or phone call, you have to be continuously chatting back and forth and you can get into really boring “so how was your day?” kind of talking.
Traditional/local couples don’t have to do this to spend time together. They can just cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie or be in the same room while one is reading a book and the other is making dinner.
This allows the couple to bond but they don’t necessarily have to be “on” and talk to each other continuously – which can get exhausting.
When you’re in a long distance relationship, you should make an effort to have some casual hangout time that doesn’t involve talking back and forth. Watch a movie together while on Skype or have Skype running as you cook dinner.
This can take the pressure off and stop you from always having to think of something to say when really you just want a bit of quality time together instead of a full-blown conversation.
5. Surprise Each Other
The difficult thing about long-distance relationships is that you can’t really do nice things for each other. So much of a couple’s bond relies on doing things that are nice. Like picking her up from work or grabbing him a glass of water.
Acts of service is one of the 5 main love languages and this can be a tough one to do while long distance, but it’s not impossible. Since other love languages like touch and even quality time are really difficult long distance, it is important to look at the love languages that you actually can do while apart.
Those little things are what really make a couple bond but it’s nearly impossible to do these things long distance. That is why it is so important to surprise each other.
This could be a handwritten letter in the mail or a gift that you send. Or you can send the person a funny joke or meme via email. You can plan a surprise vacation or even head over to where they live without telling them. This can backfire on you if you’re not sure of what you’re getting into though so take that advice with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, you know your relationship best and can figure out what your partner will truly enjoy.
In a nutshell, anything you do for the other person that makes them feel special is going to be a huge bonding experience for a long distance relationship.
4. Make Time To See Each Other
Ok I know that you are probably doing the best you can with this one.
For this one, I’m just talking about those of you who think that seeing the other person is too expensive or you don’t have time. I mean, sure those are valid excuses but I personally feel that a loving romantic relationship is one of the best things you can have in life. It is one of the best things you can do for your mental health, general happiness levels, and overall well-being.
It’s kind of hard to put a price on that, isn’t it?
If you truly feel that this person is worth it and you really think they are a good catch, you should do everything in your power to make time to see that person as often as you can.
Meet in the middle. Fly to another location that is cheaper. Use your vacation days or sick time.
It is worth it if you really love this person and they really love you. It’s also a great way to see that the other person cares about you as much as you care about them.
3. Have An End Date
Although you can be in a long-distance relationship forever, most people are going to get tired of it eventually. If you have an end date, you will see this as a goal that you’re both trying to reach. This will make any hardships easier to deal with. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Having an end date will also help you in times of temptation or frustration. If all your friends are hanging out with their boyfriends or you’ve got a guy hitting on you at the club – knowing that it’s only “6 more months” will really help in these kinds of situations.
One thing to note here is that there’s nothing wrong with having temporary end dates. A lot of the time couples can get too caught up in making set plans that they never even begin to plan things unless everything is lining up perfectly.
I am a huge fan of having a goal in mind and then if things don’t work out, adjust that goal. The key here is to not make promises that you know you can’t keep and also to learn a key skill that you’ll need to have to carry on a long-distance relationship: flexibility.
When a couple lives far away from each other, plans are going to fall through, change and need to be adjusted. You’re going to have to learn how to be easy going and flexible in order to accommodate plans that might change at a moment’s notice.
2. Keep Up The Intimacy
Long distance relationships are tough because it’s so easy to fall into the “pen pal” relationship and stray away from the hot passionate lover relationship.
You guys should be doing everything in your power to keep up intimacy while abroad. Even writing little romantic notes or sending flowers on Valentines day can send the message “I am your lover” and keep that top of mind in your partner.
One thing to note here that is very important is that when you are in a long-distance relationship, you absolutely must use words to communicate how you feel about each other. Those of you familiar with love languages know that “words of affirmation” is only one way to express love.
Expressing love through words is not everyone’s go-to but this is where a good healthy relationship can be totally destroyed when you make it long distance. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you absolutely MUST communicate with each other about how you feel.
You cannot always do nice things for each other and you can pretty much never touch each other so hugs and kisses are out of the question. You have to communicate love through words. For most couples that are optional, for long-distance couples it is not.
Saying “I love you” or “I miss you” more often than you normally would is essential for keeping up intimacy long distance.
Here are some other ideas for how you can bring in intimacy long distance:
- Romantic or flirty texts (click here for a free list of texts to download)
- Romantic letters, either handwritten or sent via email
- Flowers or chocolate gifts delivered to their house
- Sexting, sexy video chats, and photos (only with what you’re comfortable with)
- Watching romantic movies together
- Using words to describe how you feel.
1. Always Keep Learning
The fact that you searched out some tips on long-distance relationships shows that you are willing to learn! This is a huge step in making any relationship work. Humans have been in relationships with each other for thousands of years and have put a lot of time and money into researching them.
You can take advantage of thousands of years of knowledge simply by researching and learning new tips about how to keep the passion alive. Tell yourself that you’ll never stop learning how to connect with your partner.
Feeling Worried About Your Long-Distance Relationship?
This is totally normal! in fact, a statistic published by 2date4love revealed that: “Long distance relationship statistics indicate that 55% of people are worried that their partner will meet someone else.” Relationships are only made of 2 people and 55% of them are worried about this so you’re not alone. One great way to help with your feelings of loneliness or worries is to schedule emergency visits.
This means that both of you are willing to book a flight or take the bus over to the other person at a moment’s notice if things are getting bad.
Trust: The Key To Navigating Long-Distance Relationships
One of the most important tips for long-distance relationships is that you have to trust each other. The statistic above showed that most couples are afraid of losing their partner to someone else. You have to do your best to make sure your partner doesn’t feel this way. So what can you do?
Ways To Make Your Partner Feel Loved:
- Send them a good morning text every day.
- Be vulnerable with them and make sure you are being honest.
- Work on learning effective ways to communicate with love
- Assure them that you are committed despite the challenges
- Tell them you love them often
- Make sure you are making sacrifices for them and that they are doing the same
What Should You Not Do?
An important tip for long-distance relationships is remembering the things you shouldn’t do. If I were to sum up how to fix all of those things it would be: self-confidence. I’ll show you a list below of things you shouldn’t do and you tell me if you think they relate to your self-confidence…
- Be jealous of things your partner does without you
- Be jealous of new people your partner meets or tells you about
- Feel the need for constant texts or reassurance
- Feel like you can’t live happy life without them
- Always wondering what they are doing
- Picking fights just to get their attention
- Playing hard to get
See what I mean? If you’re doing these things, it simply means you are feeling insecure about your relationship and yourself. Take a deep breath. Remember that these feelings are normal, but not healthy.
Thanks for checking out my tips for long-distance relationships. At the end of the day, a long-distance relationship is hard work but it can be totally worth it if you have found the right person.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” so being apart can really make you appreciate each other and show you how much your lives are better when the other person is around.
Check out these 30 Flirty Texts to keep up intimacy!