Latest posts by Lana Otoya (see all)
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Ditch your Ok Cupid or your Plenty of Fish account and focus on dating apps if you want to find a boyfriend in today’s world.
PS. This is not a sponsored post for dating apps, this is my real honest opinion on this topic.
That being said, a word of caution before I dive deeper into this. If you are in your mid 30’s or older, traditional online dating is still a good tool to use because a lot people in this age range have not transferred over to dating apps.
This will change over time as the world realizes that dating apps are more effective but for now, keep the Ok Cupid account if you are in that above demographic but don’t ignore the dating apps.
Dating apps INCREASE YOUR CHANCES of finding someone awesome
Everyone is on Tinder. Your friends, my friends, your best friend’s cousin are all telling stories about the girl they met on Tinder or the next date they got from Tinder!
Tinder has 46 million registered users and last year saw growth at 10% – Dating site reviews
46 Million people on Tinder! That’s a lot of people.
OKCupid, which started up in 2004, has an estimated 1 million active users today and is the third-most popular dating app on the market, according to data research website Statista.com.
Only 1 million? If someone gave you the option of buying 46 million lottery tickets vs 1 million tickets, which one would you choose?
I know your dream is to just meet someone organically. Why can’t I just meet someone at the book store or chat up the cute guy at the gym? Well, you can still do that.
Using a dating app doesn’t take away your chances of meeting someone in the real world, it simply adds onto those chances and gives you more options.
Going on a date or two a week because of people you met on Tinder will expose you to more people and personalities so that you can pick the best out of the bunch.
Back in the day we were forced to meet people who we went to school with or who we met at Church but in today’s world, you can meet anybody! And the chances of finding someone who you really like and get a long with just got exponentially higher.
You need to be in this game or you’re seriously missing out.
Dating apps are the closest thing we have to meeting organically
Maybe it sounds shallow. But consider this: In the case of my girlfriend, I initially saw her face somewhere and approached her. I didn’t have an in-depth profile to peruse or a fancy algorithm. I just had her face, and we started talking and it worked out. Is that experience so different from swiping on Tinder? – Time.com
That was a line from Aziz Ansari (I know, gross, but he made one good point here) about Tinder being very similar to meeting someone in real life.
When you meet a guy at a bar or at a party, he usually just started talking to you (or vice versa) because he thought you were cute.
He didn’t know what your life’s theme song is and you didn’t know that he started his own business, you just saw each other and decided to test the waters.
This is the same experience you will get on a dating app. You’re attracted to the person’s face, you know a few very basic, things about them (ie. I like hiking and running) and that’s it.
The rest you will learn about each other via a text conversation which happens in real time (vs messaging or emailing like when you’re on a dating site) and then you eventually meet up so you can learn about each other face to face.
more getting to know each other face to face
Traditional dating sites are more messaging and email based. This means you type up a long email and then wait for a response, which is another long email. The process is slow and really detailed but it’s not easy to get into a flow.
Texting is quick and more like a real conversation because it happens in real-time.
This way you can make jokes, banter, tease and get to know each other in a way that’s a lot closer to meeting face to face. Texting can get tedious quickly so if you’re really hitting it off with a guy on Tinder, it won’t be long until he asks you out and then you’re connecting Face to Face.
By this time you know you can have a decent conversation, you know you share a few things in common and you’re quickly put in the situation where you need to see if you have real in-person chemistry.
It’s way easier to get a date on Tinder because everything happens so fast.
You can quickly find out if you are into this guy, quickly get on that first date and if things don’t work out, it’s onto the next one – there are millions of options.
The stigma is gone
It’s true that Tinder was once a place for quick hook up sex but it has grown to be so much more than that. Hook up sex is something that a lot of people want for a little while but very few people really want that lifestyle forever.
Most people rather just meet someone cool and create a real bonding relationship. Humans have been doing this for centuries and most of us don’t want this to change.
Hence why Tinder and Bumble turned into real dating apps for long-term relationships, they are not just for quick sex.
“Tinder says 80% of its users “are seeking a meaningful relationship,” which results in 1.5 million dates each week.” – Time.com
It’s also really easy to spot the guys who are only in it for the sex. The usually say it on their profile or make it extremely obvious within the first few minutes of texting.
Avoid these guys if you’re looking for something more by putting “no hookups” in your profile and always meeting in a public crowded place.
Traditional sites are old school and weird
Traditional dating sites force you into writing a giant page of your likes and interests and if you don’t do it, it looks like you’re not that interested.
Reading about someone’s entire life on a page just opens us up to being more judgemental and focusing on the wrong things.
“Oh he’s using a bunch of run-on sentences, he must not be as smart as I am” – next.
“Oh he likes ATVing and Snorkelling, I don’t like either of those things. ” – next.
“Oh he thinks he’s a “cool guy” and is looking for someone to have “fun with” – Gross. Next.
Tinder allows us to actually chat, meet up and see if we feel good around this person before we decide to judge them on petty things.
I don’t want to read that Seinfeld is your favourite show, I want you to tell me that.
Ok Cupid and other dating sites also use those horrible questions to find out more about you and to try to get their algorithms to actually work.
Humans can’t connect with other humans with an algorithm.
It tells you nothing about that person’s true thoughts on a topic and how flexible they are on that opinion. Sure he may have answered “yes” to “would you consider a polyamorous relationship” but it doesn’t mean actually wants one.
It’s just completely irrelevant to whether or not the two of you are a good match.
I lost all faith in Ok Cupid when one of the questions they asked me was “if you found out your baby had down syndrome, would you abort it?”
WHAT kind of question is that? What kind of person wants to know that on the first date? No. Just no.
There are better options out there guys! Take advantage of them.
Why haven’t you followed me on Pinterest? Thank you. You are nice 🙂