Latest posts by Lana Otoya (see all)
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Dating can be a major time suck.
You spend all this time chatting with a guy, only to meet up with him to find out he’s a total dud.
Here are 20 Must-Know online dating questions to ask before meeting so this doesn’t keep happening.
Best Online Dating Questions To Ask A Man Before Meeting For A Date
Before we get into the questions, I have to give you a warning.
As a professional dating coach, I often have women tell me they wish they could just get to the point and ask men the real questions so they wouldn’t have to waste time.
That sounds like a great idea… except-
Men absolutely hate this.
When they can sense they are being interrogated, they want to run.
You don’t want to show your crazy by asking too many nosey questions.
Play it cool, keep it subtle and lighthearted.
These questions are worded in a way that sound playful and fun but the way he answers them will give you a lot of information.
Remember to splice these questions with some back and forth conversation. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s talking to his father-in-law 😀
Questions To Find Out What He Does For Fun (His Hobbies)
This is a good way to start things out lighthearted.
Ask him questions about his hobbies and what he likes to do for fun.
This is how you find out if he likes to go out and party or if he rather binge-watch something on Netflix.
The answers to these online dating questions might let you know right then and there if he’s your type or not.
1. What’s something you’re really good at doing?
A great one to see what he thinks of himself and what he likes to spend time on.
2. What are you watching on Netflix these days?
See if he’s a TV junkie or if he doesn’t watch much Netflix at all.
3. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
A creative question to see how he feels about travel and what type of travel he’s into. Is he an all inclusive-resort or get lost in the forests of Colombia kind of guy?
4. What is your hidden talent?
This is just a fun one to see a unique side of him.
5. If you could spend all day doing something fun, what would you do?
This question will tell you about his go-to source of fun. You’ll see if he’s a homebody who likes to play video games or more adventurous/extroverted and wants to spend time out of the house.
Questions to Find Out His Views On Money
Now that you’ve covered what he likes to do for fun, you can use that as away to get into the juicy online dating questions.
6. So what do you do when you’re not (insert hobby)?
Note: if he just lists more hobbies, you can make it more obvious by just saying “wow that’s awesome, do you even have time to go to work?”. Then he should follow up with what he does and you can ask more questions about that.
7. Do you like what you’re doing now or do you wish you could do something else?
This one is a great way to see if he’s got plans to move up or start a business or if he’s happy where he is.
8. If you won a 100 grand how would spend it?
This is a great dating question to ask because it shows you what he thinks about money. A financially savvy guy might say that he’d buy real estate, or invest it or start a business.
A generous man might say he would give it to charity.
A materialistic will likely just spend it on something like a car or accessories.
9. Where did you go to school?
This is just a generalization, but someone with a graduate degree will usually be more financially stable than someone who didn’t graduate from high school.
This is not always true but it’s a good way to figure a very broad and general sense of his status.
10. Do you think money can buy happiness?
This one is a good look into his financial goals without directly asking.
Questions To Determine His Life Purpose
When you’re seeing a new man, you want to know if he has some values and passions that align with yours- or at the very least, passions that you can respect.
Some men don’t have a lot of passion for things and that might be just fine with you. These online dating questions will uncover what he values.
11. What’s something you couldn’t live without?
The answer to this will tell you where his priorities are. If he answers “water” or “air” those don’t count, duh!
12. What are you passionate about?
This question is pretty on the nose but there’s nothing wrong with that in this case. People love to talk about to what makes them tick.
After talking to hundreds of single men, I also find that men who struggle to answer this question do not have a very creative personality. That can be a good thing or not depending on what you’re looking for.
13. If you could change a decision you made in your past what would it be?
This one gives you a sense on how he sees his life. Does he live with regret? Is he stuck in the past or does he want to keep moving forward?
14. What kind of old man will you be?
This is a fun and creative way to see where he sees his life going. Will he be the type to be yelling at the kids to get off his lawn?
Or will he spend 6 months out of the year travelling on his yacht? This question is playful and very revealing.
15. What kind of videos do you watch on YouTube?
When you ask this question to a man, it will seem casual but his answer is very revealing. The kind of stuff he watches on YouTube is a good look into what areas of life he prioritizes and what kind of content he likes to absorb.
Questions To See If He’ll Be A Good Serious Boyfriend
16. What are your relationship dealbreakers?
This is similar to asking about his pet peeves but it’s tailored towards relationships so you can see if you’re a good fit.
17. What do you wish women knew about men?
This is a fun question that will give you a little inside look into how he sees the opposite sex.
18. Where did you grow up, does your family live closeby?
A good question that can lead you into talking a little more about his family. Generally speaking, men who are close to their family and prioritize that are more likely to be family-oriented boyfriends.
19. What’s something that makes you really angry?
Him making a joke here would be a good thing, it shows that he’s lighthearted and doesn’t think about things that make him really angry.
If he says something that really makes him angry, it can give you a good insight into whether he’s reasonable or not.
20. Whats you’re idea of a good first date?
This is a great one to see if he’s taking things seriously or just wants to wham bam you. It’s also a great way to hint that you might want him to ask you out 😉
Learn More About Finding A High-Quality Man Here.
How To Message A Man On A Dating Apps
Before I leave you, I wanted to give a few bullet points on the best ways to talk to a man on dating apps, here they are:
- Always keep things lighthearted and fun.
- Absolutely never ask all of these online dating questions before you have met in person! Choose your battles and save something for the first date.
- There’s nothing wrong with asking a man out on the first date. If you guys hit it off on the first date, let him be the one to take the lead from there.
- Clever, witty and flirty should be the tone for all conversations. Deep and serious can fall really flat over text.
- Avoid sarcasm. It can also fall flat over text.
Related: Best Online Dating Apps For Women
What You Can Find Out About A Man Before Meeting
The questions I gave you are useful, and you could use them, but they’re also total BS.
Sure, you can find out a little tid-bit here or there about the man you are seeing, but going on a date is the only real way to tell if he’s a good match.
Spot The Red Flags
A good way to navigate filtering men on dating apps is to just look for red flags.
You’re not going to be able to find out if he’s “the one” just by asking questions but you can definitely find out if he’s the “NOT A CHANCE IN HELL” guy.
For example, if he likes cooking and you don’t really like cooking, that’s pretty neutral.
If he mentions that he likes to do crack on the weekends, you can be pretty positive a first date is going to be a waste of time.
If you need help figuring out what potential red flags might be, download my FREE dating red-flags checklist.
I hope these online dating questions to ask before meeting in person will help you determine if the man you’re chatting with is dating.
If you end up meeting him, be sure to download my FREE dating red-flags checklist to make sure he’s good boyfriend material.
With love from your favourite dating coach,