Latest posts by Lana Otoya (see all)
- What “I Need Space” Really Means, And How To Deal With It - February 10, 2020
- How To Let Go Of Someone You Love And Move On With Your Life - January 29, 2020
- How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You – From Dating App To Marriage - January 8, 2020
I worked with hundreds of single men when I was a matchmaker. Each of them told me, unfiltered what they want from women. Here’s what they said about how to get a guy to like you.
How To Get A Guy To Like You
1. Be Like Him
When I ask men what they want in a woman, they list a bunch of interests and values they personally have.
Most people want to have a long-term relationship with someone that is pretty much the opposite version of themselves.
Although this is not always the best approach, it’s the way most people go about it so you shouldn’t fight this.
If want to get a guy to like you, you must figure out what these things are and then bring them to the forefront.
Here are a few categories for common ground.
Common interests include hobbies, passions or even career choices.
If you have something in common with a man you’re interested in, make sure to really show him that you are also passionate about that thing.
For example, if you have an interest in golf but don’t really play it that often and he brings up golf, you should talk about how you’re interested in that as well and you’d be willing to explore that hobby or interest more. Even if you haven’t played golf in years.
Even just saying “I used to love golf but have given it up for some reason” is a way to establish common ground because at least you have familiarity with the topic.
So don’t lie or exaggerate the truth, but embellishing your interest, and sharing the knowledge you do have is a good way to get the attraction ball rolling.
If he brings up a hobby or passion that you have even the vaguest familiarity with, be sure to let him know how you have experience with that thing and he’ll love it.
Most men are interested in finding a woman who wants the same things out of life as they do.
If you want to get a guy to like you, it’s important to show him that you have the same life goals as he does.
This can be things on a smaller scale, such as keeping in shape, eating healthy or on a larger scale like moving to the suburbs and having children.
If he mentions any life goals that you also have, be sure to make it obvious that you share those goals as well.
Common Sense Of Humour
If you want to get a guy to like you – laugh at his jokes.
Men have been biologically wired to impress women and make them laugh.
If you make him feel like he’s funnier than Jerry Seinfeld, he’s going to love hanging out with you and will be more inclined to take the relationship to the next level.
2. Be More Physically Attractive
Don’t get mad at me yet!
I’m just trying to be the tough love dating coach that gives you the honest truth.
When I talk to men about what they want in a woman, physical attraction is the top of their list.
Now, many men have different tastes.
I had a man who told me the women we were sending him were way too thin.
I had another one that told me he liked it when a woman wears jeans and a baseball cap.
Some men like dolled up fancy women and some men like down to earth girl-next-door women.
Most men will even marry an average looking woman!
So I’m not saying you have to change who you are.
You have to stay true to yourself, but just…pick it up a notch.
Let’s use me as an example.
I could go out the door with no makeup at all, messy hair and my “comfy” leggings, but I choose to dress up just a little more than that. A little makeup, straightened or curled hair, and a nice outfit are right in the realm of where I’m comfortable but still feel like I’m portraying my best self.
So, no, you don’t have to wear heels every day or get plastic surgery.
Just put in a little effort so that you are proud of yourself and portraying the best version of your self. If you want to get a guy to like you, put your best foot forward.
3. Use Feminine Energy
I’m sorry! This one is also controversial.
I’m not saying you have to bend over backward and be a barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen woman from the ’50s.
It’s just that, dating is a very primal thing.
And you can use the primal instinct of feminine energy to your advantage.
Masculine is to give, Feminine is to receive
Men are the ones who give flowers. Men are the ones who make the plans.
Don’t get in his way by taking things into your own hands.
As a man, he wants to be the one to do things for you, pick you up, text you and ask you out.
If he’s interested in you, and he’s a high-quality man, he will be happy to do these things. It makes him feel masculine.
If you want to get him to like you, you’ll let him do these things so he can feel masculine around you.
Loosen up and flirt a little!
A big part of using your feminine energy is to entice him in a sexually mysterious way.
Otherwise known as flirting!
As dating coach David Wygant reminds us:
The problem with a lot of [successful women], is that they take their business side with them on a date. They are interrogators on a date.
They don’t flirt. They sit there, and basically conduct a date like a business interview. They ask the guy questions and put him on the spot.
If you need some help with your flirting skills, check out this post here.
4. Cut Him Some Slack
If you want to get a guy to like you, you should be nice to him.
As a dating coach, I hear horror stories from my clients.
Women getting mad at the man they are seeing because he’s been working too much.
Or because he didn’t pick the right restaurant.
Or because he ordered the wrong thing at the restaurant!
One thing that a man appreciates in a woman is the ability to let go and be himself.
This means that you are a person he can be truly comfortable with.
So what does that mean for you?
No judging him!
No matter what he says, what he does or how cheesy his jokes are.
If you want to get a guy to like you, you have to make him feel truly at home and comfortable around you.
And if you want to add icing to this cake, throwing in some ego-boosting compliments will be a great way to get a guy to like you.
5. Take Care of His Needs
Also known as, be nurturing.
This is something that I hear from men all the time.
Most high-quality men, the kind that you want to be dating, are successful.
This usually means they have stressful or demanding work environments and they have spent many years building up their career.
So most of the time, your man is with his co-workers and needs to look and act professionally.
He doesn’t have many people that he can look “weak” around.
There’s no one to hear him out if he has a bad day.
No one to comfort him if he’s feeling stressed.
No one to tell him that everything is going to be ok.
So that’s where you come in.
Men are looking for that nurturing person in their life and they don’t get this from their guy friends.
They get it from the loving and caring attitude of a woman that they love.
As a dating coach for women, many of my clients are strong and successful and they also have a stressful and successful work environment.
It can be easy for successful women like this to forget that it’s ok to take care of a man and have him lean on you.
If you want to get a guy to like you, you should try to be that comforting shoulder that he can lean on.
Men can get sex or go for drinks with any woman.
Being someone that he can let-go in front of is the incentive to make the relationship serious and lock you in for the long-term.
Nurturing doesn’t mean “being his mom”
Before we move on from this point, I want to make it clear that nurturing doesn’t mean being his mom.
Nagging and telling him what to do is “mom-like”. Sharing your opinion and listening to him is nurturing.
A good article from eHarmony reminds us:
he reason that most relationships fail is because one or both partners’ emotional needs are not getting met. When it comes to meeting the needs of men, women -especially alpha female personalities – should remember that the goal is to be supportive and nurturing but not to control or tell anyone what to do.
6. Make Him Chase You
This plays into the feminine energy side of things as well.
Men, especially high-quality men, enjoy the chasing. They like this role.
They want to take the lead and be the person that takes the relationship to the next level.
If you are constantly texting him, reaching out too often or looking like you’re too eager, he’s going to feel like he’s not the one in charge.
This is a huge blow to his fragile ego.
When you’re trying to get a guy to like you, he needs to feel like he’s the one making the decisions.
So make sure that you’re only putting in as much effort as he is.
If he asks to go for dinner tonight, tell him it’s a little short notice and you have plans, but you’ll be happy to schedule something later in the week.
You want to make him feel like he needs to put in a little effort before you give him all your time and attention.
As dating coach Evan Marc Katz reminds us:
1) When you find a guy you really like, play it cool. Don’t let him know that you’re so impressed by him. Put the butterflies aside and start acting like you do with your best girlfriends – confident, playful, and self-assured. You stand a MUCH better chance of getting somewhere with him if you’re your BEST self than if you’re the needy, nervous version of you.
That’s some good advice from Evan, but.. how can you do this when you’re just so excited?
7. Be Confident
This is a big one!
Being confident in a new relationship means you’re ok with it if it doesn’t work out. You don’t let it hurt your ego.
And I know it’s not so easy.
Confidence is not something you can just get out of thin air if you don’t already have it, but it’s definitely an attractive trait.
In summary, confidence is about being proud of who you are. When you’re going through this list of how to get a guy to like you, remember that being true to yourself is better than faking things.
A quote from paired life reiterates this:
Be yourself when trying to make a man fall in love with you. It is important to be yourself and not someone else when it comes to personality and character. If you are pretending to be different to your true self when trying to make a guy like you, you are not doing yourself any favors.
By trying not to be yourself, you are clearly indicating or suggesting that you are not comfortable with yourself. Many guys will easily notice this shortcoming in you and quickly become disinterested.
If you need some help gaining confidence in dating, check out these posts which talk about this topic in much more depth:
8. Make The Sex Fun
Men love sex.
So do women, yes of course. But men prioritize sex in the beginning stages of a relationship more than women do.
Men will often look to see if they are sexually attracted to a woman before they even consider anything else about her. Things like her career, life goals and education all come after the “attraction part.”
So if you want to get a guy to like you, he has to be enjoying the sex.
Much like “looking hotter”, sex is a very personal thing and you should only do whatever you feel comfortable with.
That being said, we all have days when we’re lazy or not feeling like putting in much effort in the bedroom.
If you want to get a guy to like you, now is not the time for the lazy days. You want to show him how much fun you can be in the bedroom.
Now before you guys go all crazy on me, I want to remind you that I’m not saying you should do anything that you are not comfortable with.
You just want to be the best “sexual” version of yourself when trying to lock in a man.
9. No Exclusivity
If you want to get a guy to like you, don’t be “exclusive” with him.
No, I don’t mean be in an open relationship.
I just mean that if you’re going to be “exclusive” then this means you are boyfriend and girlfriend – officially.
Many of my clients, and friends get themselves stuck into these casual relationships.
They have determined that they are “exclusive” with their new man but they still don’t know if they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
If you let your man get away with this one foot out the door casual relationship, you’re letting him get away with too much.
If you want to get a guy to like you and commit to a serious relationship, then you have to make the serious relationship part of it important.
You are a high-quality and successful woman. If he wants to be the only man in your life, he needs to make things official.
10. Make Him Feel Good
This one just sums up the big picture of all the other points.
Most of the things on the list really only have one goal, making him feel great when he’s around you.
That’s all he wants in a relationship with his long-term partner.
When a man can feel comfortable and fully accepted by you, he will not only like you, he will want to marry you.
A Word of Warning
Now that you know how to get a guy to like you, you’ll want to be careful that the guy you are interested in is actually worth it! I made this free dating red flags checklist so you can make sure that the man you’re seeing is going to be a good long-term partner.
You can get the checklist by clicking here.
I hope you learned a little something about how to get a guy to like you! Here are some other posts that you may find helpful:
With love from your favourite dating coach,