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Picture the scene: you met a guy and have been getting along famously.
Maybe you’ve just started the texting ping-pong after swiping right. Or perhaps you’ve been dating for a few months now. You might even have been seeing each other and things died down or you’re taking a break.
Either way, there’s a spark, you have a connection and you want to know if he’s really interested in you.
So you start pulling back a little. You leave him alone.
You’re asking yourself: Does he miss me? Is he really interested? Or should I move on?
You need to assess whether he feels the same way about you.
And if he misses you, there’ll be some tell-tale signs.
Does He Miss Me? 10 Signs He Does
#10 – He Messages You A Lot
Firstly, you’ll know if he’s into you because he’ll message you a lot. And by a lot, I’m talking about on the daily.
Whether it’s through WhatsApp, Snapchat or good old-fashioned text message, he’ll want to check in with you. He’ll want to chat with you regularly — even if it’s just to say hi.
What does this mean, you ask? Well, it means that you’re at the forefront of his mind. And consequently, he wants to stay at the forefront of your mind. Because he likes you. Duh.
#9 — He Keeps Popping Up on Social Media
A guy who misses you will pop up left, right and center on your social media.
He probably added you on multiple networks. Here’s what he’ll do if he decided he has feelings for you:
- Dropping fire emojis on your Instagram photos
- Liking your Facebook statuses
- Watching all your Snapchat videos
Regardless, you’ll be getting a lot of phone notifications with his name on them.
And believe it or not, they’ll just keep on coming.
#8 — He Says He’s Been Thinking of You
You guys probably know each other pretty well. So he’ll be aware of your likes, dislikes and everything in between.
Therefore, if he misses you, he’ll want you to know when you’ve randomly popped into his head.
This could be something really simple. Something like seeing a cat doing a weird thing and sending you a video of it. He does this because he knows you love funny cat memes.
(I mean, don’t we all?)
Or it could be something more serious, like sending you flowers if he knows you’re wrapping up a stressful project at work. (So cute and thoughtful!)
Either way, he plays on your inside jokes and makes a point to be there for you when he needs to be. And these actions often speak louder than words.
Related: What He Thinks When You Ignore Him
#7 — He Hints About Seeing You Again
Some men will miss you, but they aren’t very good at doing anything about it. Perhaps they’re not natural leaders. Or they have a polite flirting style.
But these types of guys will want to see you again. They’ll just struggle to say so.
(I know — frustrating, right?)
Instead, they might drop hints, such as:
- When you’re talking about being in your local park — “Oh, I’ve never been there, we should check it out sometime”
- When you’re chatting about Marvel superhero movies — “We could go see the next one together”
- If you’re discussing trying the latest Starbucks frappuccino flavor — “Don’t try it without me!”
When he’s making comments like this, trust that he is serious about seeing you again — even if it seems like he’ll never outright ask you. (Sigh.)
#6 — He Calls Or Texts You When He’s Drunk
According to a study by ABC News, your real feelings come out when you’re drunk…
Or at least “some version of one’s true feelings”.
Guys are guilty of this as well.
If your man is reserved when sober but becomes more forward than a quarterback on a football field when he’s got a few drinks down him, this says a lot.
Maybe he never usually calls you but he’ll happily drunk call you while he’s out with the guys. Or he’s trying to sext you at 3am when he typically keeps everything PG-13 throughout the average day.
Either way, “a person under the influence of alcohol can behave quite differently than he would when sober,” says Dr. Harris Stratyner, Clinical Director of Addiction Recovery Services at Mount Sinai Medical Center.
And drunk people find it easier to verbalize sentiments to reflect what they’re truly feeling deep down.
Remember this the next time you’re questioning how much he cares.
#5 — He Gets Jealous
Does your man get jealous when he sees that you’re out with other guys on social media? Does he message you to keep the attention on him? Does he make spiteful comments?
Newsflash: he wouldn’t get jealous if he didn’t have an ounce of feeling towards you.
That said, according to Psychology Today, there are several reasons why men get jealous.
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of insecurity and possessiveness
- A fear that he’s not good enough for you
- Feelings of dependence on you
- A general tendency to be moody and anxious
Therefore, keep this in mind before you conclude that he’s only being unreasonable because he cares. His jealousy often says more about him than you.
#4 — He Asks About Your Life
Have you been on dates with guys who are all, like, “me, me, me” in conversation? Because I have.
And my goodness, it can be draining.
That’s why it’s such a relief when you meet a man who takes an interest in you.
If he misses you while you’re apart, he’ll want to know all about what you’ve got going on in your life.
He’ll ask you deep and meaningful questions. And he’ll leave the small talk for colleagues he barely knows in the office break room.
In fact, the conversation will nearly always be good, which is a sign that you guys have a clear connection. Winner.
#3 — He Brings Up Previous Good Times You’ve Had Together
In addition to talking about the here and now, men who miss you will bring up the good times you’ve had together in the past.
Even if you’ve never met in person, he’ll talk about that time the two of you were texting while you were watching The Bachelor and then you decided to FaceTime and watch the rest of it together.
(Sounds like an ideal virtual date, huh?)
And if you have already been on a few dates, he might keep casually bringing them up in conversation. This is his way of reminding you he’s still there. For the taking.
#2 — He Flirts With You
However, keep in mind that he’s not going to continue to actively seek you out so he can flirt with you if he wasn’t interested in you romantically.
If this was the case, he would probably stay in touch for a little while and then slowly taper off the communication.
Why not keep an eye on how much he flirts as a way of gauging how much he’s into you?
According to a University of Kansas study, you need to watch out for five main types of flirting:
- Traditional, which is an old-school approach to flirting where you wait for your man to make the first move and follow his lead. If he’s bantering you, you banter him. If he’s asking you insightful questions, you ask him insightful questions. And so on.
- Physical, which obviously you can’t do through a phone or computer. That said, if he’s blowing you kisses over Zoom or sending you virtual hugs when he makes fun of you, this counts.
- Sincere, which is a subtle way of flirting by complimenting your fashion sense or trying to find common ground by asking you all about the book you’re currently reading.
- Playful, which involves teasing and poking fun at each other all the time. It dates back to your kindergarten days where the boy who pushed you over in the playground actually did it because he likes you. Even though it didn’t feel like it at the time.
- Polite, which is the least obvious way of flirting and therefore difficult to spot. It involves your guy being a gentleman and pulling out your chair for you when you arrive at your table in a restaurant. Digitally, it’s all about being caring and empathetic towards the other person.
And needless to say, if he sexts you, he’s physically attracted to you. You just need to make sure that he doesn’t just want you for a fling if you’re starting to have strong feelings for him.
You need to be on the same page for a relationship to progress.
Related: How To Flirt With A Guy
#1 — He Always Comes Back to You
Lastly, there’s one clear sign that he misses you.
Even if you can go for days without seeing his number pop up on your phone, he’ll always come back to you eventually.
He’ll find excuses to talk to you and go out of his way to keep the conversation flowing — even if you’re not giving him much in return.
And this may sound like a small thing, but it’s actually super significant.
Why? Well, if a guy isn’t remotely interested in you, he wouldn’t bother continuing the communication.
The truth is: he would have ghosted you a long time ago. Think about it.
How to Know If You Should Reach Out or Move On
If your guy isn’t displaying even the slightest sign that he misses you, maybe it’s time to cut your losses and move onto someone who is going to miss you.
(Goodbye and good riddance, right?)
On the other hand, if he’s displaying some of the above signs, he’s probably just shy or not used to making the first move.
Or he might not be ready for a relationship and be trying to proceed with caution before he hurts anybody (including himself).
The way I see it, you have three options:
- Adopt patience as your new BFF and simply wait until he’s ready to ask you out
- Tell him how you feel about him in the hopes that he’ll reciprocate the feelings so you can get this relationship train moving
- Take a deep breath and ask him out yourself
I mean, it is the 21st century.
And life’s short. You’ve got to go after what you want and live for today!
And what’s the worst that could happen? He says “no”?
Well then, that’s his loss, sister.
But if he does turn you down, don’t waste any more of your precious time.
Be thankful that he came into your life temporarily, because I’m a big believer that every person comes into your life to teach you something.
(Even if we don’t quite know what it is at the time. It turns out: hindsight is a beautiful thing!)
And then simply cut contact. Hold out for a man who is going to match your effort level, give you 100% instead of 50% and become your equal partner in life.
After all, this is ultimately what you deserve.
How To Attract A Man That Is High Quality
I hope you found this article helpful, but it does you no good if you’re not attracting High-Quality.
Check out my Free Checklist “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men”. It’s free!
Time will tell whether the guy you’ve been crushing on misses you or just stringing you along for the ride.
However, if you want to be proactive, there’s nothing wrong with taking matters into your own hands.
After all, this is the only way you’re going to get some answers.
And I’m with you every step of the way!
Love, your favorite dating coach,