Latest posts by Lana Otoya (see all)
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As a dating coach, I have learned that falling in love is less about luck and more about skills. Knowing how to make a man fall in love with you is about honing in on those skills and putting them to use.
Here are the things you can do to make a man fall in love with you.
What Men Like In A Long-Term Partner
Before I was a dating coach, I was a matchmaker. During my time talking to hundreds of single men, I learned a lot about what they look for in a woman. Here were the things that constantly topped the list:
This one topped the list nearly every single time. Men really want to date a woman who they are attracted to, above all else.
Before you start saying that men are shallow, just know that all men have a different idea of what they find attractive.
I’ve had men tell me they want the woman that gets all dolled up and wears heels to the grocery store. I’ve also had men tell me they prefer a woman in skinny ripped jeans and a baseball hat.
So yes, it’s important to pay attention to your physical appearance when dating but you only have to live up to your own standards and version of beauty.
For example, I always wanted to be that woman that was put together and dressed nicely even when I went to the grocery store.
For the longest time, I didn’t do this and I ended up wearing sweats and a T-Shirt but that was not the person I wanted to be.
When I started dressing a little nicer on a regular basis, I was living up to my own standards. If a man appreciates that, good for him.
If you personally feel comfortable with adding a little more to your beauty routine, whatever that means for you, it will help make a man fall in love with you.
Warning! If you end up faking this and become someone you are not, you will make a man fall in love with you but it won’t be the real you.
This is the opposite of what a healthy and strong relationship is based upon, so always make sure you’re being true to yourself when doing this.
Most of the men I talk to say that they want an intelligent woman.
If you consider yourself intelligent, that’s awesome – but don’t think that you’ve got this one in the bag just yet.
What men actually mean when they say they want an intelligent woman is that they want a woman they can talk to.
So really, they just mean that they want a good conversationalist.
Even the most intelligent women are not always the best and talking back and forth and making sure the conversation flows.
So if you want to make a man fall in love with you, you need to be good at chatting back and forth.
Knowing about current events: Another great way to be a good conversationalist is to be aware of current events. Current events have a way of creeping into most conversations so being able to comment or share your two-cents is awesome.
If you don’t enjoy watching the news, you can try watching political comedy shows like the Patriot act on Netflix or the Colbert Report.
Be Willing To Learn: Most men who are looking for an intelligent woman are smart and knowledgeable themselves.
These kinds of men love talking about things they have learned so even if you don’t know about what they’re talking about, being interested in what they’re saying and willing to learn more is just as attractive.
Someone to Have Fun With
The last thing that men always say when they’re looking for a partner is that they want someone to have fun with.
This means that they are looking for a joyful and lighthearted person who makes them feel happy. We will discuss more on this as we go through the article.
If you want to learn about the other things my male clients have said they want in a woman, check out this article I wrote:
Attracting Men On Dating Apps
If you want a man to fall in love with you, you’ll have to make a good impression on the dating apps.
I’ve had clients who are beautiful women and they post a primary photo that does not do them justice.
Have Good Photos
The best way to attract a man’s attention online is to have good photos.
Make sure that your photos are of high quality, clearly show your face and have you smiling.
You should include three types of photos: Smilling photo by yourself (but not a selfie), full-body, and action shots of you at the beach, hiking etc.
Don’t include photos with friends. Get professional photos taken if you don’t have a lot of good ones in your library.
If you need help with putting together a profile with good photos, check out my packages here.
Have A Good Profile
You must have a witty and funny profile.
The best style of communication online is clever, witty humour.
Everyone’s profile says they love to travel, hike and have a glass of wine with dinner.
If you can come up with more unique ways of saying the same things, your man will be much more interested.
If you need help putting together a witty and funny profile, check out my coaching packages here.
Keep His Interest Via Text
When dating a man in this century, texting will be the primary form of communication.
A big way to make a man fall in love with you is through the texts you send.
This topic could be a whole post on its own, so let’s keep it simple with these important notes:
- Witty and clever humor works best to keep his interest, back and forth banter is awesome for igniting chemistry
- Sarcasm tends to fall flat, avoid it.
- Light and friendly teasing is another way to keep him questioning your intentions, thus keeping his interest.
- Make sure you only start a conversation after he has already started two. You want the text conversation ratio to be 2:1 so you don’t look too eager.
If you need help with texting men online, check out these resources:
Make Him Feel Special
The best way to make a man fall in love with you is to make him feel special.
Back in the day, most men needed to settle down and get married before they having sex.
They were also brought up in a society where they didn’t have to cook or do the laundry themselves because that was a “woman’s job”.
If a man wanted to live a comfortable life, he needed to be in a relationship.
These days, men don’t need that so why do they want a relationship?
For emotional support.
Men need women to help them feel supported, loved and to be a life partner.
How To Make A Man Feel Special:
- Compliment him. His appearance and his personality.
- Do nice things for him, like making him lunch or feeding his dog.
- Compromise. Let him watch the show he wants to watch or go for dinner where he wants to go.
- Forgive him if he makes mistakes or says the wrong thing.
Warning! As a dating coach I cannot say the above points without letting you know an important note.
The amount of nice things you do for him needs to mirror the things he does for you.
So if you are doing all the things on the above list but he doesn’t call you, cancels your plans and doesn’t seem interested – doing those things is going to make it worse.
You only want to make him feel as special as he’s making you feel.
Otherwise, he is not worth your time.
If you need to know whether a man is worth your time or is serious about a relationship, check out this article:
Let Him Lead
As a dating coach, it is my life purpose to set women up with high-quality men who are worth their time.
If you haven’t met a great man yet, it’s awesome that you’re single.
You’ve done a great job not settling.
One of the easiest ways to tell if a man is high-quality and worth your time is by letting him take the lead.
Let him plan the dates. Let him text you first. Have him be the one to check-in after the date is over.
When you let him do these things, he feels like he is with a woman who values her own time and will not lower herself to meet the needs of any man.
Acting this way gives you a lot higher chance that he will fall in love with you.
You might be looking at the above point and thinking… yeah, but that’s hard.
I know it is. It’s hard to just sit back and let men have the control.
Having confidence in yourself is going to help with this.
When you have high self-esteem, it’s easier to say to yourself:
I’ll wait for him to reach out, and if he doesn’t good riddance.
That is the key to successful dating.
I know this can be easier said than done so if you need help with confidence in dating, check out this post:
Have Sex At The Right Time
This is a big one!
There is no right or wrong answer to this.
Some women had sex on the first date with a man that ended up being the love of her life.
Others have waited until marriage and they’re relationship is still strong.
As a dating coach, I can’t deny that “sometimes” things work out for the best, but I’m all about making sure your chances are as high as possible for success.
Having sex on the first date does not give you the highest chance for success. It’s not a dealbreaker but it’s not something I can recommend to my clients.
Instead, I go by this rule:
Please for the love of all that his holy, wait five dates at a minimum. The longer, the better.
The reason I say five dates to my clients is because I feel that this is a number most of them can hit.
If you are single and are not just having one night stands you have needs that need to be met.
As soon as you meet a man who is half-decent, your hormones are going to go crazy and you’re going to want to jump his bones ASAP.
So try to wait five dates at a minimum, and if you can wait longer, it’s better. Then you can just go for it when he has shown signs of being a committed boyfriend.
If you want more info, check out this article:
This is a very effective way to make a man fall in love with you but it is arguably one of the most difficult on the list.
You have likely faced heartbreak or been in relationships that were not healthy.
Despite how great those other relationships seemed at first, you ended up getting hurt.
The funny thing is, the attitude you had before you got hurt is the same attitude you need to have again, in order to find real love.
You need to be vulnerable. The definition of being vulnerable is that you are susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
Even though that seems like a ridiculous position to be in, it’s the way humans truly connect.
You’ll need to open up yourself to pain in order to experience true love.
If you need help with how to do this check out this article:
Much like vulnerability, honesty is another important way to make a man fall in love with you.
All humans are easily able to spot a fake.
We are very good at reading people’s body language and intentions.
How many times have you met a really “nice” person that you knew was a little slimy?
How were you able to pinpoint that he wasn’t being genuine?
It’s because we all have this inner radar to detect a phony and your boyfriend has it too.
If you want him to make him fall in love with you, be honest and genuine with him. Don’t try to fake anything or lie just to make him happy.
If you do this, he’ll spot it right away and it will be a major turnoff.
You always want to be nice, but never fake.
Don’t Cling To Him
Being vulnerable and honest very good ways to make a man fall in love with you but you don’t want to be too overbearing.
That is why you must let him take the lead and show him as much attention as he shows you.
It’s called mirroring.
So if he asks you on a date for Friday, that’s great, maybe you can suggest the next date after that.
But if he has not texted you in a week and you ask him out and he ignores you, don’t keep asking.
The same goes with the texting ratio of 2:1. You want him to initiate two conversations before you initiate one.
Remember that you’re a strong independent woman and if he’s not giving you enough attention, you have plenty of friends and family that you can spend your time with instead.
Giving him the space he needs will show him that he needs to make the moves because you’re not going to do it for him.
Don’t Nag Or Nitpick
I have seen so many good relationships go bad because of nagging.
You might think that a little reminder here and there can’t be harmful, but it really is.
Here’s an example. I was once at a couple’s home for dinner and the woman is a nitpicker who always nags the man.
He was making a delicious feast and had spent hours cooking up this amazing meal for the guests.
The time comes to take the dinner out of the oven so he grabs a dishcloth to protect his hands to pull out the food.
This is when the woman steps in saying: “you always use a dishcloth to do that, you’re going to burn it! Use the oven mitts.”
The woman probably didn’t even notice, but the defeated look on his face revealed a lot. He’s used to this but he doesn’t like it.
This little comment may seem small, but constantly doing this to your significant other has the ability to completely destroy a healthy relationship.
One of the most important parts of being in a partnership is understanding that he is going to do things differently than you – and that’s ok.
In today’s modern world, this one can be controversial sometimes.
Men like it when a woman takes care of them.
This can mean a variety of things. It could be that she does the laundry and folds the clothes, that she makes lunches for him to take to work or that she drives him to the office every day.
Whatever the arrangement you have for your partner, the key to making him fall in love with you is to show him that you will be adding to his life.
Now don’t get me wrong, of course he needs to do things for you as well.
But finding a balance and showing him that you have that feminine drive to take care of others is very attractive.
You want him to know that when you’re in his life, it gets easier.
A Word Of Warning
Now that you know how to make a man fall in love with you, you’ll want to make sure he’s a high-quality man who is worth your time.
You can do this by downloading my Free Dating Red Flags checklist here.
Thanks for checking out my post on how to make a man fall in love with you. If you need more information, feel free to check out these other articles:
With love from your favourite dating coach,