14 Essential Qualities of A Good Man To Marry

Lana Otoya

In the busy digital age where every prospective romantic partner is disposable at the click of a button, knowing the qualities of a good man to marry becomes essential.

That said, what even constitutes a “good man” nowadays? 

With the rise of equality and men and women taking on different gender roles, i.e. how we’re expected to act, speak, and conduct ourselves, attitudes towards and expectations of male partners are shifting. Even so, there are still some qualities of a good man to marry that remain the same.

Top Characteristics of A Good Man To Marry

#14 – He’s Willing To Provide For You

Yes, I know you’re a strong independent woman.

I know you have your own career and you don’t need anyone to support you – but wouldn’t it be nice?

Most of the women that I have spoken to as a femininity coach are successful, independent and very high up in their careers. This is all great and you deserve all the rewards that come along with that.

But when it comes to settling down and getting married to someone – you really want a man who is willing to provide.

This is especially true if you plan on having children. I am currently pregnant with my first baby and you know what? It’s really hard! It’s hard to work, it’s hard to concentrate, it’s hard to sleep – and I’m not even half way there yet.

If you want to have children, you’re going to need a man who can provide for you when you have to take some time off to take of your children and your body. You can go back to work when you’re ready, but having someone there to pay the bills is going to come in handy when you want a little time off to focus on you and your family.

If you don’t believe me, you might need some help with finding the value in your feminine energy. Learn more about that here.

Free Guide: How To Attract Higher-Quality Men With Feminine Energy

#13 He’s Nice To His Family

I’m not saying that a man who comes from a broken home is not going to be a good husband.

But if he comes from a loving home where his parents are still married and everyone gets along, the chances of him being a quality man that you want to marry just sky-rocketed!

This doesn’t mean that you need a man who is in love with his mom – in fact it’s the opposite! A man who has a very respectful relationship with his mom, dad and his siblings knows how to function in a healthy and emotionally stable family.

And he will likely bring these characteristics to your family as well.

Related: How To Find A Husband Who Really Loves You

#12 – He Listens To Your Feedback

When I first started dating my husband – he was always cancelling plans.

He would promise me that we were going out to dinner and then the day of the dinner would come and he’d be “too tired” or “not feeling it tonight”. Now, if one of my coaching clients told me about this – I would say this is a huge red flag, and it is!

Unless….

You tell him how it makes you feel and he actually changes his ways.

This is what happened with my husband and I. When I realized that he was making a habit of cancelling plans, I sat him down and told him how much this sucked and how much I hated it. I

told him that it’s fine to cancel plans once in a while but this is too often and I really don’t like it.

Then I cried.

I didn’t mean to, it just happened.

I was so hurt by it and it affected me so deeply that my emotions just came out and he saw it all happen right in front of his eyes. And you know what happened?

The cancelling of plans stopped.

He started keeping his promises and he changed his ways.

If a man hears you out, listens to your needs and adjusts his behaviour to make you feel happy, it is a clear sign he really values you and wants you to be part of his life. His actions turned a big red flag into a giant waving green flag and we’ve been together ever since.

Free Guide: How To Attract Higher Quality Men

#11 – He Talks About The Future

One of the most important qualities of a good man to marry is that he talks about the future. A man who is ready to settle down and have a family and long-term relationship wants to make sure you’re on the same page.

Now a man that is all lovey dovey and talking about how you are “the one for me” in the first month is clearly showing red flags of being way too desperate.

But it’s not too desperate to ask you what your goals are. So if he asks you if you’d like to get married one day or would like to have kids one day, that’s just him figuring out if you’re going to match his goals and that’s a great thing! My husband asked me in the first few weeks of dating if I wanted to have kids and it’s only because he was ready for that kind of relationship.

What he didn’t say was “let’s have a baby now!” or “let’s get married now!” because if he had done than I would have been out the door instantly. Can anyone say stage 5 clinger??

Stage 5 Clinger – Is Clinginess a Turn Off?

#10 — You Trust Him

Firstly, trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, or he doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to last in the long run.

Now remember there’s a famous quote by like Ernest Hemmingway or someone and it goes like this:

Trust is given before it’s taken away.

What this is means is that you don’t start off by not trusting someone and then they have to prove to you that they are trustworthy – no!

You first start by trusting them, and then if they do something to hurt that trust, that’s when you can start asking questions.

Now this can be hard to do if you’ve been burned in the past. You might feel like you don’t want to trust anyone and that you won’t put your heart out to someone who might hurt it, but this mentality will hurt you in the long run.

You can learn more about this by learning about how to take down your protective wall.

A good man will give you no reason not to trust him. Even if you’ve been burned in previous relationships, he will put you at ease even when you’re triggered by certain scenarios.

For example, say your ex-boyfriend didn’t use to answer your texts on a night out with his friends causing you to doubt him. A good man will text you back in this situation so that you’ll always feel confident in your connection.

Honing into your feminine energy will also help you with this. Feminine energy teaches us to live in the moment and enjoy the present day without planning too much in the future. If you can focus on your relationship one day at a time, time will show you if this is the right man for you or not.

Learn more about attracting quality men with feminine energy here.

#9 — He Makes You Feel Comfortable

Does your man make you feel like you can tell him anything and be your 100% authentic self? If so, he might be a keeper.

Especially if you could come out with the goofiest statement and he would just laugh along (or—better yet—join in with your goofiness!).

Famous researcher Brene Brown always talks about how acceptance is the key to love.

When someone else accepts you for who you are, it reassures you that you are enough. If your man is not asking you to change and doesn’t make fun of you for being you, then you know he has the trait of a quality man!

Related: How To Know If He Loves You

#8 — He Makes You Laugh

Speaking of being playful, one of the best qualities of a good man to marry is if he can make you laugh (or you’re able to have lots of laughs together). 

After all, according to Psychology Today, finding a guy with a great sense of humor has the following benefits:

  • You’ll find him more attractive
  • It diffuses any tension in difficult situations
  • It improves your sex life and gives you better orgasms
  • You’ll be more open and vulnerable with each other

In other words, couples who laugh together will have a stronger bond than those who don’t. So, get giggling!

#7 — He’s a Great Communicator

Communication is such an important part of any relationship.

A good man can not only express his thoughts and ideas, but he also can engage with you about yours.

Whether it’s through WhatsApp or Instagram, an audio call or in-person, not only will he be able to hold a conversation with you, but he’ll also keep in touch of his own accord when you’re apart.

#6 — He’s a Great Listener

Dating someone who talks over you or isn’t interested in what you have to say (ever) isn’t cool.

A good man will like to listen just as much as he’ll like to talk. Alongside this, he will ask questions about your life and converse with you about the answers so that you feel heard.

Remember that healthy relationships are all about polarity, this means a good balance of masculine and feminine energy. Masculine energy means “to give” so that would mean him talking to you and feminine energy means “to receive” so that would mean you’re listening.

A good masculine man might like to talk a lot, but if he never lets you talk, this is a huge sign that he doesn’t have a good balance of masculine and feminine energy within himself – and this is not going to be a good match! We all need a healthy balance of energies to be complete people and be the best for the opposite sex.

Learn more about feminine energy and polarity in my free guide.

#5 — He’s Loyal

Another quality of a good man is if he sticks by you no matter what, whether this is defending you in an argument with a stranger or declining the opportunity to cheat on you.

To put it simply, you’ll never have to question his loyalty because his words and actions will make you feel like you’re constantly supported.

Related: How To Make Him Miss You Like Crazy

#4 — He’s Thoughtful and Kind

You want to be with someone who is going to remember your birthday or anniversary, right?

A man who is committed to making you feel special is worth having around, whether it’s complimenting your new dress or buying you something he sees at the grocery store because he knows you’ll like it.

In a scary and uncertain world, kindness is everything.

Related: 15 Differences Between “Love” and “In Love”

#3 — He’s Emotionally Intelligent

Let’s just get one thing straight, an emotionally intelligent guy is well sought-after. That is to say, he has the ability to perceive emotions, reason with emotions, understand emotions, and manage emotions.

According to VeryWell Mind, the signs of an emotionally intelligent man are:

  • Being able to pay attention and understand how you’re feeling
  • Having great social skills (because he’s so attuned to people’s emotions)
  • Being willing and able to discuss his feelings with you
  • Being motivated to reach his goals (because he’s able to manage his behavior and feelings to achieve long-term success)

Essentially, having an emotionally intelligent partner is beneficial because he’ll be able to empathize with you and communicate his emotions during difficult times. And this will end up strengthening your ties.

Related: Needs vs Wants In Relationships – What Is Really Important for Long-Term Love?

#2 — He Appreciates You

Is your man polite? Does he know his pleases and thank yous? And does he let you know how grateful he is to have you (and often)?

Perhaps it’s clear that he just wants to make you happy in all aspects of the relationship because of how much he appreciates you, from focusing on your pleasure in the bedroom to constantly telling you how amazing you are. In this case, he sounds like a winner.

Related: What Makes A Good Husband? 10 Traits of A High-Quality Man

#1 — He Allows You to Shine

Lastly, men who aren’t so desirable are the ones who try to dim your light so that they can shine brighter. In other words, they don’t allow you to follow your dreams because they feel threatened at the thought of a strong, powerful woman.

(Boo, hiss!)

A good man will encourage you to be the best person you can be. He’ll challenge you and give you a push when you need it. Above all, he’ll believe in you even if you don’t always believe in yourself.

Related: Why You Deserve a Better Relationship

How to Hold Down a Man With Good Qualities

Make Sure You’re Using Your Feminine Energy

As a femininity coach, I have worked with many successful women that struggle to let go and let the man be the man in relationships.

These women are used to doing everything themselves. They got through school themslves, they got their first job by themselves and they worked their way up the ladder of success by themselves.

Women like this (and probably like you) know how to get shi** done!

But.

When it comes to relationships, a good man will want to take the lead. He will want to be the one to move things forward and if you want to keep a quality man like this – you’ll need to let him.

At least in the beginning. Not only is this going to help you attract a higher-quality man, but it’s going to feel good. It feels amazing knowing that a man wants to be with you, wants to ask you out on dates, and wants to move the relationship forward.

If you want this kind of relationship, learn more about how to attract quality men with feminine energy here.

Keep the Spark Alive

You expect him to be thoughtful and romantic, right? (After all, the best boyfriends are!)

If so, you could also actively try to be thoughtful and romantic to keep your fire burning. Why? Well, if your man can see how much effort you’re putting in, he’s likely to feel happier in the relationship and want the good times to continue.

Related: Why Men Pull Away After Sex And How To Get His Interest Back

Make Sure You’re Compatible

Good qualities aren’t everything. In fact, you’ve got to complement each other if you want your relationship to last the test of time.

You’ll know if you’re compatible because there’ll be some tell-tale signs, including:

  • You don’t question the love in your relationship
  • You share common interests
  • You don’t want to change each other
  • You enjoy spending time apart
  • Your arguments don’t last very long
  • Your partner is the first person you want to share news with
  • You find each other’s flaws endearing
  • You’ll connect on all levels — mind, body, and soul

And the big indicator that you’re not compatible? Constant fights, which may even become toxic. In which case, leave him and don’t look back.

Related: Will I Ever Find Love?

Remember You Have a Lot to Offer Too

Needless to say, it’s not all about the guy you’re dating. You have to work on yourself to be the best version you can be, whether that’s with or without him. 

You also have to be careful not to come on too strong too early because you might scare him away. Heal from previous relationships. Take things slowly. And don’t forget: the best things in life are worth waiting for.

How To Attract A Man That Is High Quality

As you read this article you might have heard me mention something about feminine energy. I strongly believe in the power of feminine energy to attract higher-quality men and to reach inner feminine strength.

Learn more about attracting men with feminine energy in my guide “How To Attract Higher-Quality Men”.

Conclusion

The qualities of a good man to marry will reveal themselves over time. Therefore, don’t feel disheartened if the new man you’re seeing doesn’t seem to have some of them upon first impressions.

And if you manage to find a guy who checks all of your boxes? He might just end up being the man you’re with for life.

Get your detective’s hat and magnifying glass ready!

Love, your favorite dating coach.

-Lana

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